#11 Changed

(Josie Sayz: ‘Changed’ is the eleventh poem of my ‘Checkmate’ anthology. I wrote this whilst walking to work in pouring rain, thinking about an old friend.)

The rain pours down,
We’re on the street.
I wonder,
If our eyes will ever meet.
You turned my way,
As I pass you by,
But,
I know you’ll never recognise…
Me.
My picture – it’s fading.
Your memory – it’s changing.
Why can’t you – remember me,
Or the friends – we used to be?
It’s been rearranged.
Something in your brain has changed.
Your head’s held down,
The lights are low,
But I bet,
The two of us are not alone.
You would not look,
As they all stared.
Now,
I can’t believe you never cared…
At all.
My picture – it’s fading.
Your memory – it’s changing.
Do you think – about me?
Ever wonder – if we were meant to be?
It’s been rearranged.
Something in your brain has changed.
And I haven’t got a clue,
What is happening to you.
My picture – has faded.
Your memory – they’ve changed it.
And it can’t – remember me.
Or anything – we used to be.
It’s been rearranged.
Something in your brain has changed.

- Josie -

#10 Just Like James Dean

(Josie Sayz: Number ten, ‘Just Like James Dean’ is from my ‘Checkmate’ anthology. It’s kind of inspired by a family friend, whom fits the mould of the ‘Starbucks’ demographic stereotype, but can be influenced and swayed towards different social groups, without realising that he’s changing who he is in order to be with them.)

You’re my Starbucks little day dream,
With them dark rimmed glasses and that little goatee.
Got your coffee cup and notebook in hand,
But there’s just a little something that I don’t understand.
You’re the shy, quiet guy in the corner,
You always keep to yourself.
But as the popular crowd draws you nearer,
It’s like you’ve stuffed your personality on a shelf.
Why act so big?
Why act so tough?
Is being you
Just not enough?
Why can’t you just be
That sweet guy I see?
Instead of trying to be,
Just like James Dean.
You’re the sweetest, nicest guy that I know,
When it’s just you and me sat there, all alone.
But something recently isn’t right,
Because it’s not like you to go and pick a fight.
You’ve got a leather jacket on, your hair’s slicked back,
You’re with the kids that break the laws.
I just wish that you’d come back,
You’re not a rebel without a cause.
Why act so big?
Why act so tough?
Is being you
Just not enough?
Why can’t you just be
That sweet guy I see?
Instead of trying to be,
Just like James Dean.
You’re my James Dean daydream,
If you only knew the truth.
You get me heart beat racing,
Just by being you.
When you look in the mirror and wonder why,
I bet you wish you could turn back the time…
Don’t act big.
Don’t act tough.
Because being you
Is just enough.
So please just be
That sweet guy I see.
Because to me you’re already,
My daydream James Dean.

- Josie -

#9 Take My Hand and Try

(Josie Sayz: This is poem number nine from my ‘Checkmate’ anthology. This is a role reverse sort of theme; it’s not something I’d say, it’s what I need someone to say to/reassure me.)

I catch you looking at me.
I almost couldn’t believe
That it could be true,
Because I like you too.
But every time that we’re close,
You act so uptight.
I need to find a way to show you,
That everything’s alright.
So, take my hand and try.
If you think it’s over
Why don’t you realise,
We can take it slower.
So come on closer,
Come on over
And just take my hand and try.
I brush my hand on your knee.
There’s that blush I can see.
My cheeks turn red too,
From the feeling of you.
But as we get a little closer,
You take a step back.
I guess I feel a little scared too,
But I need you to know that:
Just, take my hand and try.
If you think it’s over
Why don’t you realise,
We can take it slower.
So come on closer,
Come on over,
And just take my hand and try.
Everything has changed,
Don’t know what you're missing.
Nothing stays the same,
It's a new beginning…
So come on closer,
Come on over,
Just take my hand and try.
Take my hand tonight,
Because it’s not over.
Maybe you’ll realise,
That we’re not over.
So come on closer,
Come on over,
And just take my hand and try…

- Josie -

#8 Broken

(Josie Sayz: ‘Broken’ is the eight poem from my ‘Checkmate’ anthology. This one has a slightly more serious tone to it.)

I guess I’ve noticed it for a while,
It’s just I’ve kinda been in denial.
The way you smile, I know it has changed.
It’s like your whole life has been rearranged.
You were the one I’d always run to.
But there is something deep inside of you.
The light that was there has burnt out and died.
You always say you’re fine – now I know you lied.
You are broken.
Someone has pulled the plug on you.
You are broken.
The spark has gone from your eyes too.
Nothing that I say no more
Will make you feel alright.
I guess it just seems like
Someone has turned off your light.
It’s not the same no more when we’re alone.
Now your eyes have turned as hard as stone.
And I know that something’s missing.
I guess it wouldn’t hurt in wishing.
Maybe together we could figure this out.
Because I wouldn’t want to live without-
You, and knowing that you’re by my side.
I know there’s something wrong – please don’t run away and hide.
You are broken.
Someone has pulled the plug on you.
You are broken.
The spark has gone from your eyes too.
Nothing that I say no more
Will make you feel alright.
You used to love the day,
Now you just want to say goodnight.
Sometimes I see you try to go the extra mile.
When you’re alone with me is when you try to smile,
But when someone walks in you avert your eyes.
It’s like they’re making you wear some weird disguise.
I guess it hurts that I can’t read your mind.
It’s almost like they’ve got you hypnotised.
If I could only get you to forget them.
Maybe you could be yourself again.
You are broken.
Someone has pulled the plug on you.
You are broken.
The spark has gone from your eyes too.
Nothing that I say no more
Will make you feel alright.
All I can do is pray
Something will switch back on your light.

- Josie -

#7 You Don't Know Nancy

(Josie Sayz: This is seventh poem I wrote for my ‘Checkmate’ anthology. ‘Nancy’ is referring to Nancy Spungen – and I you don’t know who she is… how can we be? – on a serious note, just type her name into a search engine. I loved a line in ‘The Dollyrots’ song ‘New College’: “You’ll be my Sid again/And I’ll be Nancy Spungen,” and the poem kind of sprang from there. I even referenced ‘The Dollyrots’ towards the end of my poem, “Can’t you be the Luis to my Kelly?/‘Cause I’d be the peanut butter to your jelly.” This was just a whole lot of fun to write.)

You, you're into all those video-games,
Things that explode, fast cars and aeroplanes.
I see you dancing to that hip-hop beat,
You can really sing and you're smooth on your feet.
And you really love the car that you drive,
Speeding down country lanes makes you feel you're alive.
You always act like you don't care,
But secretly I know you style your hair.
There are so many things that I know about you,
I just wish you knew about me too...
I like taking long walks in the rain,
Gazing at stars under the window pane.
My favourite book is Barrie's 'Peter Pan'
And I really, really, really wanna go to Japan.
My favourite character is Marty McFly
And most days I pretend I'm a spy.
You like the day,
But I come out at night.
Whilst I do some yoga,
You start a fight.
So how can we be
If you don't know Nancy.
Me, I like walking home with you in the dark,
Rainbows, fairy tales and picnics in parks.
I know your secret fear that nobody knows,
Your favourite movies, songs and TV shows.
And when you're nervous you run a hand through your hair,
But it's when you blush I really know that you care.
You make me laugh, but you don't understand,
It's more than a crush when you're touching my hand.
There are so many things that I know about you,
I just wish you knew about me too...
I like taking long walks in the rain,
Gazing at stars under the window pane.
My favourite book is Barrie's 'Peter Pan'
And I really, really, really wanna go to Japan.
My favourite character is Marty McFly
And most days I pretend I'm a spy.
I'm scared of the water,
But you hang out at the dock.
You listen to hip-hop,
But I like punk rock.
So how can we be
When you don't know Nancy.
Sometimes you really make me mad,
But leaving you would make me feel sad.
Sometimes you really can't see
Just how much it is you mean to me.
You give me butterflies whenever you smile,
Even when I haven't seen you in a while.
And I forgive you every single time
When you don't know my favourite movie lines.
We are so different and I just don't know,
How we hang on and don't let go...
'Cause:
You hate being out in the pouring rain,
Gazing at stars drives you insane.
You don't believe in Barrie's 'Peter Pan'
And you said you never wanna go to Japan.
You don't give a hoot about Marty McFly
And you said I'm no good at being a spy.
Can't you be the Luis to my Kelly?
'Cause I'd be the peanut butter to your jelly.
You'd be the rhythm to my rhyme.
We could be together 'til the end of time.
Who am I kidding? Why couldn't I see,
How hopeless this fantasy could be?
Maybe I just need a genie,
As you'll never be my Sidney.
So how can we be,
Because you don't know Nancy.

- Josie -