Scary Situation

(Josie Sayz: I found this piece whilst archiving. I don't remember writing it; however I think I do know what might have been going through my head at the time given the date that I wrote it - 31/07/15.)

Have you ever been in a situation where you are so scared, but you have no idea why you are even doing it? The entire time you are doubting yourself. You know that you shouldn’t be doing it – it’s completely out of character, but you’re doing it anyway. Every second feels like a minute. Every minute feels like an hour. Yet still there you are, doing exactly what you told yourself not to. Your heart races. The pulse pounds through your ears. Your hands sweat. Your eyes twitch at any sudden movement. Your ears are on high alert. Your stomach begins to lather. Gripping a hand to it you let out a silent groan, praying that it will go away. Your mouth feels dry. You lick your lips and check your watch. How long has passed? Two, maybe three minutes? Your phone vibrates. You flinch. The screen lights up. You bite your lip and stare at it. You knew it was going to ring; it was just a matter of when. You stare at it a while, knowing that it won’t go away. They’ll just ring back again. It’s better to answer it sooner, rather than later.

- Josie -

Checkmate Anthology Cover

(Josie Sayz: This is the cover to my ‘Checkmate’ poem anthology. For a possibly bigger and clearer image try: http://josiesayz.deviantart.com/art/Checkmate-Anthology-573003287.)

 

- Josie -

#12 Brand New

(Josie Sayz: This is the final poem in my ‘Checkmate’ anthology. It was inspired by someone incredibly special to me. It’s the closing chapter to everything. It’s the new beginning. It’s the checkmate.)

Just a quiet, shy girl from a little old town,
Never took the time to look around
At the people and places that all pass me by.
But then you took the time to notice me,
I couldn’t possibly believe
That something new here was going on.
My point-of-view, it has changed.
My whole mind’s been rearranged.
Everything was clouded, but now I see...
You helped me up,
When I was down.
You put a smile,
On my frown,
Wonder if you see,
That you’re the one for me.
You made me feel,
Like I belong,
Now just for you,
I wrote this song.
Because I like you.
And you made me feel…
Brand new.

- Josie -

#11 Changed

(Josie Sayz: ‘Changed’ is the eleventh poem of my ‘Checkmate’ anthology. I wrote this whilst walking to work in pouring rain, thinking about an old friend.)

The rain pours down,
We’re on the street.
I wonder,
If our eyes will ever meet.
You turned my way,
As I pass you by,
But,
I know you’ll never recognise…
Me.
My picture – it’s fading.
Your memory – it’s changing.
Why can’t you – remember me,
Or the friends – we used to be?
It’s been rearranged.
Something in your brain has changed.
Your head’s held down,
The lights are low,
But I bet,
The two of us are not alone.
You would not look,
As they all stared.
Now,
I can’t believe you never cared…
At all.
My picture – it’s fading.
Your memory – it’s changing.
Do you think – about me?
Ever wonder – if we were meant to be?
It’s been rearranged.
Something in your brain has changed.
And I haven’t got a clue,
What is happening to you.
My picture – has faded.
Your memory – they’ve changed it.
And it can’t – remember me.
Or anything – we used to be.
It’s been rearranged.
Something in your brain has changed.

- Josie -

#10 Just Like James Dean

(Josie Sayz: Number ten, ‘Just Like James Dean’ is from my ‘Checkmate’ anthology. It’s kind of inspired by a family friend, whom fits the mould of the ‘Starbucks’ demographic stereotype, but can be influenced and swayed towards different social groups, without realising that he’s changing who he is in order to be with them.)

You’re my Starbucks little day dream,
With them dark rimmed glasses and that little goatee.
Got your coffee cup and notebook in hand,
But there’s just a little something that I don’t understand.
You’re the shy, quiet guy in the corner,
You always keep to yourself.
But as the popular crowd draws you nearer,
It’s like you’ve stuffed your personality on a shelf.
Why act so big?
Why act so tough?
Is being you
Just not enough?
Why can’t you just be
That sweet guy I see?
Instead of trying to be,
Just like James Dean.
You’re the sweetest, nicest guy that I know,
When it’s just you and me sat there, all alone.
But something recently isn’t right,
Because it’s not like you to go and pick a fight.
You’ve got a leather jacket on, your hair’s slicked back,
You’re with the kids that break the laws.
I just wish that you’d come back,
You’re not a rebel without a cause.
Why act so big?
Why act so tough?
Is being you
Just not enough?
Why can’t you just be
That sweet guy I see?
Instead of trying to be,
Just like James Dean.
You’re my James Dean daydream,
If you only knew the truth.
You get me heart beat racing,
Just by being you.
When you look in the mirror and wonder why,
I bet you wish you could turn back the time…
Don’t act big.
Don’t act tough.
Because being you
Is just enough.
So please just be
That sweet guy I see.
Because to me you’re already,
My daydream James Dean.

- Josie -