(Josie
Sayz: Okay, so this is my final part of my ‘Confessions of a Waitress’ mini-series.
As with the previous two, all of these things happen on a regular basis. And if
you missed the previous two, you can find ‘Confessions of a Waitress: Part 1 of
3’ here: https://josiesayz.blogspot.co.uk/2016/12/confessions-of-waitress-part-1-of-3.html
and ‘Confessions of a Waitress: Part 2 of 3’ here: https://josiesayz.blogspot.co.uk/2016/12/confessions-of-waitress-part-2-of-3.html.
As with the previous entries, the restaurant’s name has been changed to ‘Fin
Finish’. I hope that you think twice about doing some of the things on these
lists after reading them.)
Phoning up the restaurant to ask, “Are you open today?” The following happens daily: A customer phones up the restaurant. I answer the phone, “Good afternoon, ‘Fin Finish’ Shirley. How can I help?” To which we get instantly asked, “Are you open today?” Seriously, this is getting irritating now. Rather than wasting money/credit/minutes phoning up, just look online. Just type in the restaurant’s name into a search engine. Our website will be the first thing that pops up. ‘Fin Finish’ is open seven days a week. So, are you still wondering, “Are you open today?” You know what: No, I decided to come into work on my day off and open up the restaurant and waste the electricity/heating to just sit here all day beside the phone just in case it happens to ring, so that I can tell people that we are not open… of course we are open. We are open every day (except for Christmas Day) and you have just wasted my time with a stupid question when I could have been serving customers or taking drinks to a table, or relaying a table for waiting customers, or running food to a table before it goes cold, or clearing up a spillage before somebody slips, but no… you want to know if we are open.
Not listening to our reply when you ask, “Are you open today?” I understand that it may be confusing during the holiday seasons to know if your favourite place is going to be open or if there are reduced opening hours. We expect this, especially around Easter, Christmas and New Year, which is why during these time periods we answer the telephone as follows: “Good afternoon, ‘Fin Finish’ Shirley. We’re open 12pm until 10pm every day of the year, except Christmas Day. How can I help?” Why is that so difficult for over three-quarters of ringing customers to understand? Listen. Just listen and we will have answered most people’s questions. That way, you can avoid this:
Me: “Good afternoon, ‘Fin Finish’ Shirley. We’re open 12pm until 10pm every day of the year, except Christmas Day. How can I help?”
Customer: “Are you open?”
Me: “We’re open 12pm until 10pm every day of the year, except Christmas Day.”
Customer: “Yes, but are you open today?”
Me: “Yes… we are open.”
Customer: “When?”
Me: “We’re open 12pm until 10pm every day of the year, except Christmas Day.”
Customer: “So you’re open now?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “And what time do you close.”
Me: “Ten.”
Customer: “And you are ‘Fin Finish’, the one in Shirley, right?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “Okay – we might pop in tomorrow.”
And after all that, why on Earth would you then decide to come tomorrow instead? Why? What was the point of all of that? This is genuinely 75% of the constant phone calls every holiday season.
Another common phone conversation example of customers not listening. When you phone up the restaurant, we always answer with, “Good afternoon, ‘Fin Finish’, Shirley. How can I help?” We say ‘Shirley’ to let you know that you are through to the restaurant in the Shirley area, not one of our sister-restaurants (you will be surprised how often people phone the wrong restaurant and even reserve tables at the wrong restaurant through not listening to us when we answer the phone). Yet, this conversation happens far too often:
Me: “Good afternoon, ‘Fin Finish’, Shirley. How can I help?”
Customer: “Hello there Shirley…”
Me: “My name’s not Shirley. This is the restaurant in the Shirley area.”
Customer: “Yes Shirley, I would like to book a table…”
Trying to manipulate us into reserving you a table on non-reservation days. On days where all of the main meals are half price, the restaurant does not take reservations. The only time when a reservation will be accepted is if it were for a party of twenty or more, because this would take prior planning and organisation. To any group smaller than twenty, it is a walk-in service. Okay, so this particular example only happened to me once, but we get similar excuses every single day.
Me: “Sorry, we don’t take bookings on half price days, unless it’s a party of twenty or more.”
Customer: “But I’m bringing my elderly mother. She’s never been before.”
Me: “Sorry, but we don’t take booking on half price days, unless it’s a huge booking.”
Customer: “But my mum’s got cancer.”
Me: “… Sorry… but we still can’t take bookings unless it’s for a big party.”
Never use an illness to get you things. Rules are rules. I am terribly sorry for your situation, of course I am, but you should not be using your mother’s illness to get you something as petty as a table at a restaurant. This is just wrong.
Asking to come in before we open. It clearly states on three billboard signs in the carpark and the hanging sign as you enter the carpark that we open 12pm-10pm seven days a week. Staff members start work at 10:30am to sweep, disinfect and mop the floor and to set up the restaurant before opening. The insurance police does not permit customers being in the building before or after our opening times. The following conversation takes place most mornings when customers spot us inside the restaurant, cleaning before we open:
Customer: “Are you open?”
Me: “Sorry, not yet. We don’t open until 12.”
Customer: “But you’re working.”
Me: “Yes, I’m cleaning and setting up ready for when we open.”
Customer: “Can we come in then?”
Me: “No; we don’t open until 12.”
Customer: “Yes, but it’s cold outside and you’re already working.”
Me: *gets manager*
Manager: “Sorry, we don’t open until 12.”
Customer: “But you’re working.”
Manager: “We’re cleaning.”
Customer: “Can we come in then?”
Manager: “No; we don’t open until 12.”
Customer: “Yes, but it’s cold outside and you’re already working.”
Manager: “Sorry you’ll have to wait.”
Customer: *tries to push past manager*
Manager: “Sorry, you’ll have to wait.” *Locks door and closes all blinds, so you can’t see in and depending on how much you have angered the manager, they may purposely make you wait an extra couple of minutes before unlocking the door, for being so rude.* More than 95% of customers arrive by car anyway, so stay in your warm car and stop acting like it’s a first-come-first-serve-post-Christmas sale.
Asking how long the wait will be for a table on a busy day. Do you not realise how stupid you look, especially when you scream at us, “What do you mean you don’t know?” or shout abuse if we get the waiting time wrong. Okay, think of it this way: how long will it take your whole table to decide on what food to order? Depending on what you order depends how long it takes to cook. Are you going to have starters? If yes, you are going to be in the restaurant a whole lot longer than those who do not. If everyone were to order small cod and chips, the wait for food would be considerable shorter (it takes six minutes for a small cod to cook) compared to if everybody ordered steak pie (which takes fifteen minutes to cook). How long will it take not just you, but your entire table to eat? Will you want anything afterwards? How long will you want to wait after eating to just talk for a bit before ordering desserts or more drinks? What about if you want a drink after the dessert? How long will you want to stay talking after you’re finished? How about after receiving or paying for the bill – how long will you stay talking then? How do you expect us to guess how long it will be until a table becomes available if you do not know how long you are going to be?
Saying we are short staffed, just because the restaurant is busy. Unless the entire area decides to show up at the restaurant on a random day, we always have extra staff in on expected busy day. One night we had nine members of staff working, compared to our usual five and customers were still saying, “What’s wrong, are you short staffed?” because there was a waiting list for tables. No, we are not short staffed. The reason as to why there is a wait is because the majority of tables finished their meals over ten minutes ago, they have just decided to sit and talk afterwards. We cannot make customers leave once they have finished. If all twenty-eight tables wish to sit for three hours, I am afraid that there is nothing I can do. You would not want me to force you out of the door the second that you put your knife and fork down, would you?
When every meal on the menu is half price and you ask for, “Two half price meals.” Which meals? If you are not going to tell me which meal you would like, shall I tell the kitchen to make you whatever we sell the least of or whichever is most expensive? If you do not like it, then it is your fault.
When every meal on the menu is half price and you ask for, “The fish and chips that’s half price.” Everything on the menu is half price. I do work here; otherwise I would not be serving you. You do not have to tell me that it is half price. I am not stupid. Every single Monday and Tuesday every single meal on the menu is half price.
Asking for an offer that ended at 5pm after 5pm. No, you cannot. The offer is valid until 5pm for a reason. It would be like going somewhere on a Wednesday and asking for the ‘Sunday Special’. You cannot have it.
Asking at 6pm for an offer that does not start until 7pm. This is the same as the point above. No. What would the point be of having a start time for a particular offer, if anyone who asked was entitled to it at any time? The answer is no.
Handing me your baby’s dirty nappy. There are bins provided in the toilets and in the baby changing area. The bins are emptied regularly and toilet checks are carried out throughout the day. There has never been a point where all of the available bins have been full – so why do you persistently hand me your baby’s dirty nappy? I cannot place it in the bins with the food, I will have to go into the toilets, where you came from, and put the nappy in the bin that is right beside the baby changing facility. I just do not understand why people would do this? Next time you hand me your baby’s dirty nappy, would you like me to project, “Do you want me to take that back to the toilets and put it in the bin for you?”
After drying your hands on toilet tissue, you dispose of your rubbish in the clean cutlery area. This one gets me angry and it happens so often. I understand that some people dislike using the hand dryers provided in public toilets and you would rather dry your hands on toilet tissue. That is fine, but, please, dispose of your toilet tissue in the many bins provided in the toilets before you leave. Do not, under any circumstance, leave the tissue in the clean cutlery area as you pass by on the way back to your table. All of the cutlery now has to be re-washed and re-polished, this process can take over an hour. Not just that, but a waiter/waitress will have to stop serving tables and has to wash and polish all of that cutlery again, so there will be less staff members serving tables, which will mean that your service is slower for an entire hour… and you did this to yourself.
Finding fingernail clippings on/under the table. This is turning into a weekly find. Why would you go to a restaurant to cut your fingernails and toenails? Brushing them under them table does not make it any better. It’s unhygienic. It’s disgusting. Yet it happens all the time. If anyone can please fill me in on why this is a trending occurrence, I would love to know.
Finding an empty condom packet under the table. Although this is not as regular as the nail clippings, this has happened several times. I do not even want to know why, how or what it was doing under the table; I am just grateful that you took the used content with you.
Only ever writing bad reviews on ‘TripAdvisor’. Seriously, one review read something along the lines of, “We go there every single Monday and have been for the last three years since it opened. But last night was terrible. We had to wait over half an hour for a table, service was slow and it was full of kids.” Well 1) duh, it was a Bank Holiday Monday, of course it’s going to be busy and 2) you gave us a one star review based on one day when you have loved us every single time before, yet you have never given us a good review – not once. If all of the regular customers decided to write a bad review on a busy Bank Holiday but never, ever, ever write a good review, we would lose our reputation and eventually close down. Then you would be asking, “Why are you closing down? You’re ever so good.” And you will get the restaurant shut down; it happened to one of our sister-restaurants. Customers only reviewed the restaurant on a busy day, complaining that it was too full, too noisy, or they had to wait for a table. No one ever reviewed the lovely service or good quality food they received the times before, so the owner closed the restaurant down. Then everyone wondered why it had closed. Write a review every time you receive good service too, not just on the one busy day. Stating in your one star ‘TripAdvisor’ review that every other time you go to the restaurant it is five star, but never writing a five star review, does not count.
Phoning up the restaurant to ask, “Are you open today?” The following happens daily: A customer phones up the restaurant. I answer the phone, “Good afternoon, ‘Fin Finish’ Shirley. How can I help?” To which we get instantly asked, “Are you open today?” Seriously, this is getting irritating now. Rather than wasting money/credit/minutes phoning up, just look online. Just type in the restaurant’s name into a search engine. Our website will be the first thing that pops up. ‘Fin Finish’ is open seven days a week. So, are you still wondering, “Are you open today?” You know what: No, I decided to come into work on my day off and open up the restaurant and waste the electricity/heating to just sit here all day beside the phone just in case it happens to ring, so that I can tell people that we are not open… of course we are open. We are open every day (except for Christmas Day) and you have just wasted my time with a stupid question when I could have been serving customers or taking drinks to a table, or relaying a table for waiting customers, or running food to a table before it goes cold, or clearing up a spillage before somebody slips, but no… you want to know if we are open.
Not listening to our reply when you ask, “Are you open today?” I understand that it may be confusing during the holiday seasons to know if your favourite place is going to be open or if there are reduced opening hours. We expect this, especially around Easter, Christmas and New Year, which is why during these time periods we answer the telephone as follows: “Good afternoon, ‘Fin Finish’ Shirley. We’re open 12pm until 10pm every day of the year, except Christmas Day. How can I help?” Why is that so difficult for over three-quarters of ringing customers to understand? Listen. Just listen and we will have answered most people’s questions. That way, you can avoid this:
Me: “Good afternoon, ‘Fin Finish’ Shirley. We’re open 12pm until 10pm every day of the year, except Christmas Day. How can I help?”
Customer: “Are you open?”
Me: “We’re open 12pm until 10pm every day of the year, except Christmas Day.”
Customer: “Yes, but are you open today?”
Me: “Yes… we are open.”
Customer: “When?”
Me: “We’re open 12pm until 10pm every day of the year, except Christmas Day.”
Customer: “So you’re open now?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “And what time do you close.”
Me: “Ten.”
Customer: “And you are ‘Fin Finish’, the one in Shirley, right?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “Okay – we might pop in tomorrow.”
And after all that, why on Earth would you then decide to come tomorrow instead? Why? What was the point of all of that? This is genuinely 75% of the constant phone calls every holiday season.
Another common phone conversation example of customers not listening. When you phone up the restaurant, we always answer with, “Good afternoon, ‘Fin Finish’, Shirley. How can I help?” We say ‘Shirley’ to let you know that you are through to the restaurant in the Shirley area, not one of our sister-restaurants (you will be surprised how often people phone the wrong restaurant and even reserve tables at the wrong restaurant through not listening to us when we answer the phone). Yet, this conversation happens far too often:
Me: “Good afternoon, ‘Fin Finish’, Shirley. How can I help?”
Customer: “Hello there Shirley…”
Me: “My name’s not Shirley. This is the restaurant in the Shirley area.”
Customer: “Yes Shirley, I would like to book a table…”
Trying to manipulate us into reserving you a table on non-reservation days. On days where all of the main meals are half price, the restaurant does not take reservations. The only time when a reservation will be accepted is if it were for a party of twenty or more, because this would take prior planning and organisation. To any group smaller than twenty, it is a walk-in service. Okay, so this particular example only happened to me once, but we get similar excuses every single day.
Me: “Sorry, we don’t take bookings on half price days, unless it’s a party of twenty or more.”
Customer: “But I’m bringing my elderly mother. She’s never been before.”
Me: “Sorry, but we don’t take booking on half price days, unless it’s a huge booking.”
Customer: “But my mum’s got cancer.”
Me: “… Sorry… but we still can’t take bookings unless it’s for a big party.”
Never use an illness to get you things. Rules are rules. I am terribly sorry for your situation, of course I am, but you should not be using your mother’s illness to get you something as petty as a table at a restaurant. This is just wrong.
Asking to come in before we open. It clearly states on three billboard signs in the carpark and the hanging sign as you enter the carpark that we open 12pm-10pm seven days a week. Staff members start work at 10:30am to sweep, disinfect and mop the floor and to set up the restaurant before opening. The insurance police does not permit customers being in the building before or after our opening times. The following conversation takes place most mornings when customers spot us inside the restaurant, cleaning before we open:
Customer: “Are you open?”
Me: “Sorry, not yet. We don’t open until 12.”
Customer: “But you’re working.”
Me: “Yes, I’m cleaning and setting up ready for when we open.”
Customer: “Can we come in then?”
Me: “No; we don’t open until 12.”
Customer: “Yes, but it’s cold outside and you’re already working.”
Me: *gets manager*
Manager: “Sorry, we don’t open until 12.”
Customer: “But you’re working.”
Manager: “We’re cleaning.”
Customer: “Can we come in then?”
Manager: “No; we don’t open until 12.”
Customer: “Yes, but it’s cold outside and you’re already working.”
Manager: “Sorry you’ll have to wait.”
Customer: *tries to push past manager*
Manager: “Sorry, you’ll have to wait.” *Locks door and closes all blinds, so you can’t see in and depending on how much you have angered the manager, they may purposely make you wait an extra couple of minutes before unlocking the door, for being so rude.* More than 95% of customers arrive by car anyway, so stay in your warm car and stop acting like it’s a first-come-first-serve-post-Christmas sale.
Asking how long the wait will be for a table on a busy day. Do you not realise how stupid you look, especially when you scream at us, “What do you mean you don’t know?” or shout abuse if we get the waiting time wrong. Okay, think of it this way: how long will it take your whole table to decide on what food to order? Depending on what you order depends how long it takes to cook. Are you going to have starters? If yes, you are going to be in the restaurant a whole lot longer than those who do not. If everyone were to order small cod and chips, the wait for food would be considerable shorter (it takes six minutes for a small cod to cook) compared to if everybody ordered steak pie (which takes fifteen minutes to cook). How long will it take not just you, but your entire table to eat? Will you want anything afterwards? How long will you want to wait after eating to just talk for a bit before ordering desserts or more drinks? What about if you want a drink after the dessert? How long will you want to stay talking after you’re finished? How about after receiving or paying for the bill – how long will you stay talking then? How do you expect us to guess how long it will be until a table becomes available if you do not know how long you are going to be?
Saying we are short staffed, just because the restaurant is busy. Unless the entire area decides to show up at the restaurant on a random day, we always have extra staff in on expected busy day. One night we had nine members of staff working, compared to our usual five and customers were still saying, “What’s wrong, are you short staffed?” because there was a waiting list for tables. No, we are not short staffed. The reason as to why there is a wait is because the majority of tables finished their meals over ten minutes ago, they have just decided to sit and talk afterwards. We cannot make customers leave once they have finished. If all twenty-eight tables wish to sit for three hours, I am afraid that there is nothing I can do. You would not want me to force you out of the door the second that you put your knife and fork down, would you?
When every meal on the menu is half price and you ask for, “Two half price meals.” Which meals? If you are not going to tell me which meal you would like, shall I tell the kitchen to make you whatever we sell the least of or whichever is most expensive? If you do not like it, then it is your fault.
When every meal on the menu is half price and you ask for, “The fish and chips that’s half price.” Everything on the menu is half price. I do work here; otherwise I would not be serving you. You do not have to tell me that it is half price. I am not stupid. Every single Monday and Tuesday every single meal on the menu is half price.
Asking for an offer that ended at 5pm after 5pm. No, you cannot. The offer is valid until 5pm for a reason. It would be like going somewhere on a Wednesday and asking for the ‘Sunday Special’. You cannot have it.
Asking at 6pm for an offer that does not start until 7pm. This is the same as the point above. No. What would the point be of having a start time for a particular offer, if anyone who asked was entitled to it at any time? The answer is no.
Handing me your baby’s dirty nappy. There are bins provided in the toilets and in the baby changing area. The bins are emptied regularly and toilet checks are carried out throughout the day. There has never been a point where all of the available bins have been full – so why do you persistently hand me your baby’s dirty nappy? I cannot place it in the bins with the food, I will have to go into the toilets, where you came from, and put the nappy in the bin that is right beside the baby changing facility. I just do not understand why people would do this? Next time you hand me your baby’s dirty nappy, would you like me to project, “Do you want me to take that back to the toilets and put it in the bin for you?”
After drying your hands on toilet tissue, you dispose of your rubbish in the clean cutlery area. This one gets me angry and it happens so often. I understand that some people dislike using the hand dryers provided in public toilets and you would rather dry your hands on toilet tissue. That is fine, but, please, dispose of your toilet tissue in the many bins provided in the toilets before you leave. Do not, under any circumstance, leave the tissue in the clean cutlery area as you pass by on the way back to your table. All of the cutlery now has to be re-washed and re-polished, this process can take over an hour. Not just that, but a waiter/waitress will have to stop serving tables and has to wash and polish all of that cutlery again, so there will be less staff members serving tables, which will mean that your service is slower for an entire hour… and you did this to yourself.
Finding fingernail clippings on/under the table. This is turning into a weekly find. Why would you go to a restaurant to cut your fingernails and toenails? Brushing them under them table does not make it any better. It’s unhygienic. It’s disgusting. Yet it happens all the time. If anyone can please fill me in on why this is a trending occurrence, I would love to know.
Finding an empty condom packet under the table. Although this is not as regular as the nail clippings, this has happened several times. I do not even want to know why, how or what it was doing under the table; I am just grateful that you took the used content with you.
Only ever writing bad reviews on ‘TripAdvisor’. Seriously, one review read something along the lines of, “We go there every single Monday and have been for the last three years since it opened. But last night was terrible. We had to wait over half an hour for a table, service was slow and it was full of kids.” Well 1) duh, it was a Bank Holiday Monday, of course it’s going to be busy and 2) you gave us a one star review based on one day when you have loved us every single time before, yet you have never given us a good review – not once. If all of the regular customers decided to write a bad review on a busy Bank Holiday but never, ever, ever write a good review, we would lose our reputation and eventually close down. Then you would be asking, “Why are you closing down? You’re ever so good.” And you will get the restaurant shut down; it happened to one of our sister-restaurants. Customers only reviewed the restaurant on a busy day, complaining that it was too full, too noisy, or they had to wait for a table. No one ever reviewed the lovely service or good quality food they received the times before, so the owner closed the restaurant down. Then everyone wondered why it had closed. Write a review every time you receive good service too, not just on the one busy day. Stating in your one star ‘TripAdvisor’ review that every other time you go to the restaurant it is five star, but never writing a five star review, does not count.
- Josie -
