(Josie
Sayz: Here is part two of three of my ‘Confession of a Waitress’ list. As
before, these may seem ridiculous to some, but they happen every single day. If
you missed ‘Confessions of a Waitress: Part 1 of 3’ you can find it here: https://josiesayz.blogspot.co.uk/2016/12/confessions-of-waitress-part-1-of-3.html. As with 'Part 1', the restaurant's name has been changed to
‘Fin Finish’.)
Ignoring all members of staff when entering the restaurant and sitting yourself down. No one will know that you are there. If the restaurant is incredibly busy, it is often difficult for waiters/waitresses to remember which table we have served and which table we have not. Also, members of staff are often made to take orders from tables in sections of the restaurant that they are not serving in, in order to help our struggling staff members. With various staff members coming and going from a section there is one golden rule that we have to follow to make sure that everyone is served. When a member of staff seats a customer to the table, they give you the menu. When a member of staff serves you, they must take away the menu, so other staff members know that you have been served. If you ignore all staff members and sit yourself down, you will not have a menu and it is highly likely (especially on busy days) that no one will serve you, because as far as they are aware, you have already been served, because you do not have menus.
Ignoring all members of staff when entering the restaurant and sitting yourself down on a reserved table. Not only does this cover the entire point made above, but if someone sat down on your reserved table you would not like it, would you? You would throw a fit, wouldn’t you? Start shouting abuse at the staff, wouldn’t you? Well then don’t do it.
Ignoring all members of staff when entering the restaurant and wandering around mindlessly looking for friends/family. The staff member who stands at the door ready to greet you has already seated the entire occupants of the restaurant. They know of (and have informed the waiter/waitress in specific sections) which tables are waiting for other members to join their party. If you just ask we will have you sat at your table in couple of seconds and you will not be disrupting the rest of the restaurant by pushing past their chairs for no reason.
Moving furniture. If you move a table, it may not seem like a big deal to you, but it is there for a reason. If you are a table of four, you do not move two tables of two together in an area that best suits you. You sit on a table of four, where one is available. If a table of four is not available, you wait. If the owner happens to check the CCTV cameras and sees you have moved a table or a chair and you are sat in my section of the restaurant, well let’s just say it is the last time I will be serving you or anyone. Moving furniture can make your waitress/waiter get sacked.
Pointing at something on the menu and ask if we serve it. This one is just self-explanatory: It would not be on the menu if we did not serve it, would it? Why would we put an item on the menu if we did not serve it? If we had ran out of something I would have told you when I handed you the menu.
Asking if we serve cod and chips. You have just walked into a traditional, British fish and chip restaurant, ‘Fin Finish’. Cod and chips is the first thing on the menu. It is in the largest font on the menu. There is a giant picture of it on the menu. As with the previous point, we serve it as it is on the menu.
Asking what is in a certain meal. You have already been looking over the menu for several minutes, I come over to take your order, you point to something on the menu and then ask, “What’s in that?” or “What does that consist of?” It tells you. The description is right there, next to the dish’s name. So do you know what happen when you ask this question? I will not tell you the answer; I will lean over your shoulder, point to the description and say, “There you are,” smiling to you as sweetly as I can, when really I want to hit you with your menu for wasting my time. You obviously have not read the menu yet, you are not ready to order, so in the future do not call me over to your table unless you are ready to order. I have other customers whom need my time, not just you.
Saying, “I’ve searched all over the menu and I can’t find the plaice. Where is it?” You have read the entire menu several times over and not found the plaice for a reason. We obviously do not sell plaice at this place.
Asking for, “A cheese burger without the cheese.” So you want a burger? A quarter pounder, a beef burger, a plain burger, the scotch-beef-burger-on-a-bun-with-chips if you want to read it precisely from the menu. But under no circumstance do I ever want to hear, “A cheese burger without the cheese.”
Asking if pickled onions are automatically served with fish and chips. No, no they are not. Where have you been where pickled onions automatically came with your fish and chips without having to ask for them? That would not be very wise of a restaurant if people did not like pickled onions, we would be wasting an awful lot of food. Nothing comes with the fish and chips other than fish and chips as it states on the menu. However, just because pickled onions do no automatically appear on your plate that does not mean that you cannot order a side dish of pickled onions.
Asking for things that are not on the menu. ‘Fin Finish’ serves traditional British fish and chips, along with several chicken options and burgers. The menu has been the same since the franchise opened over three years ago. The only thing that has been added to the menu is a hotdog, nothing has been taken away. So why is it that after looking over the menu for five-or-so minutes, when taking a table’s order do I often get asked for duck and egg fried rice? We do not sell it. We have never sold it. Please read the menu before you order.
Asking me where the rest of your order is when my hands are full. I can only carry three plates at a time. In case you cannot picture how this is so, with your dominant hand, you rest the first plate on your none-dominant arm, you place second plate on your none-dominant hand and then you pick the third plate up with your dominant hand. There isn’t anywhere else one can carry another plate. If you have ordered a smaller meal and a small side, I can often squeeze one side bowl on to the edge of the plate. Now you have pictured this task, how can I possibly carry the fourth person on your table’s meal and all side of your side plates and bowls? I am not an octopus, nor am I stupid. I know that not all of you table has their food. I am present at your table. I can see. Not only that, but when I was collecting your food from the kitchen there were more plates and bowls for your table. I will bring them over in the second (and possibly third) journey.
Saying, “That’s not mine.” You ordered cod and chips and a bowl of mushy peas, as I stated in the previous point, I can only carry three plates at a time. You have your cod and chips in front of you. That is what you ordered. I will be back with your bowl of mushy peas when I bring the rest. Never, ever say to your waiter/waitress, “That’s not mine,” if your only problem is that not all of your order has arrived, because you could be left with no meal at all if your server takes the plate back into the kitchen, because you have just told them that it is not yours. Of course, if you have ordered southern fried chicken and chips and you are given cod by mistake, then yes, you can say, “That’s not mine,” and your problem will be sorted in seconds, but if that is your food and you are just waiting for your side bowl of mushy peas to arrive then do yourself a favour and not utter those words.
Asking me for a refill when I have my hands full. Whether you call me over to your table or wave your empty glass in my face as I walk past you, if I am carrying a huge stack of plates what do you expect me to do? Can you not politely wait until I return? What do you expect me to do? Do you want me to grow another arm, leave the other table’s dirty plates on your table while I go and refill your drink or would you rather me drop all of the plates on the floor, leave the smashed mess and go and refill your drink for you? Your drinks are unlimited self-service refills, so rather than wait for me to come back and watch me refill your drink at a refill station that is five paces away (when you are clearly capable of doing so) why not use the self-service drinks machine yourself or just wait until I have my hands free.
Not listening to me. Do not assume that the very first thing your waitress/waiter is going to do after you have finished your meal is to force you into having anything else or desserts. We are not trying to steal your money from you by making you purchase more than you already have – especially if you have been rude or spiteful, we would be happy for you to leave. My job is to make sure that you enjoy your meal and your service. The following conversation happens multiple times an hour every single day, is incredibly irritating and makes your waiter/waitress think that you are an incredibly rude person and will possibly severely dislike you upon your next visit:
Me: “Was everything okay with your meal?”
Customer: “No, just the bill.”
Me: “Why, what was wrong?”
Customer: “Nothing; everything was fine.”
Me: “Would you like anything else?”
Customer: “I already told you no.”
Placing the bill in front of a person on the table does not mean I assume that person is going to play the bill. When you ask for the bill, I will either place the check book in front of the person who asks for it or whoever acknowledges me when I bring it over. If you are a table of eight, how can I possibly place the bill in front of all of you? No matter where I place it, it is still going to be closer to one person. Please do not behave aggressively towards me because of this.
Lying. This could be about anyone or anything. Customers continually lie daily, whether it is to try and claim a free meal, a discount or a coupon, your persistent lying can come with a consequence. There are security cameras everywhere. If you lie and say your waiter/waitress left you sat for ages before seeing to you, it is checked on CCTV. Why? Because you could get your waiter/waitress sacked – if you complain that service is slow, it will be even slower if you get every person who waits on your table sacked for no reason, as there will be no staff left in the restaurant. Please remember that your waiter/waitress is a person too, who needs their job to pay their rent and bills, just like you. How would you like it if I showed up where you work and made up a load of lies about you to try and get free stuff and you got sacked because of it. Think twice next time before you lie. Oh and just to give you a heads up, we recognised persistent complainers and we check your complaints back against CCTV. When you complain a second or third time and then complain again when you do not receive a voucher or a free meal, it is because we have caught you lying on camera.
Ignoring all members of staff when entering the restaurant and sitting yourself down. No one will know that you are there. If the restaurant is incredibly busy, it is often difficult for waiters/waitresses to remember which table we have served and which table we have not. Also, members of staff are often made to take orders from tables in sections of the restaurant that they are not serving in, in order to help our struggling staff members. With various staff members coming and going from a section there is one golden rule that we have to follow to make sure that everyone is served. When a member of staff seats a customer to the table, they give you the menu. When a member of staff serves you, they must take away the menu, so other staff members know that you have been served. If you ignore all staff members and sit yourself down, you will not have a menu and it is highly likely (especially on busy days) that no one will serve you, because as far as they are aware, you have already been served, because you do not have menus.
Ignoring all members of staff when entering the restaurant and sitting yourself down on a reserved table. Not only does this cover the entire point made above, but if someone sat down on your reserved table you would not like it, would you? You would throw a fit, wouldn’t you? Start shouting abuse at the staff, wouldn’t you? Well then don’t do it.
Ignoring all members of staff when entering the restaurant and wandering around mindlessly looking for friends/family. The staff member who stands at the door ready to greet you has already seated the entire occupants of the restaurant. They know of (and have informed the waiter/waitress in specific sections) which tables are waiting for other members to join their party. If you just ask we will have you sat at your table in couple of seconds and you will not be disrupting the rest of the restaurant by pushing past their chairs for no reason.
Moving furniture. If you move a table, it may not seem like a big deal to you, but it is there for a reason. If you are a table of four, you do not move two tables of two together in an area that best suits you. You sit on a table of four, where one is available. If a table of four is not available, you wait. If the owner happens to check the CCTV cameras and sees you have moved a table or a chair and you are sat in my section of the restaurant, well let’s just say it is the last time I will be serving you or anyone. Moving furniture can make your waitress/waiter get sacked.
Pointing at something on the menu and ask if we serve it. This one is just self-explanatory: It would not be on the menu if we did not serve it, would it? Why would we put an item on the menu if we did not serve it? If we had ran out of something I would have told you when I handed you the menu.
Asking if we serve cod and chips. You have just walked into a traditional, British fish and chip restaurant, ‘Fin Finish’. Cod and chips is the first thing on the menu. It is in the largest font on the menu. There is a giant picture of it on the menu. As with the previous point, we serve it as it is on the menu.
Asking what is in a certain meal. You have already been looking over the menu for several minutes, I come over to take your order, you point to something on the menu and then ask, “What’s in that?” or “What does that consist of?” It tells you. The description is right there, next to the dish’s name. So do you know what happen when you ask this question? I will not tell you the answer; I will lean over your shoulder, point to the description and say, “There you are,” smiling to you as sweetly as I can, when really I want to hit you with your menu for wasting my time. You obviously have not read the menu yet, you are not ready to order, so in the future do not call me over to your table unless you are ready to order. I have other customers whom need my time, not just you.
Saying, “I’ve searched all over the menu and I can’t find the plaice. Where is it?” You have read the entire menu several times over and not found the plaice for a reason. We obviously do not sell plaice at this place.
Asking for, “A cheese burger without the cheese.” So you want a burger? A quarter pounder, a beef burger, a plain burger, the scotch-beef-burger-on-a-bun-with-chips if you want to read it precisely from the menu. But under no circumstance do I ever want to hear, “A cheese burger without the cheese.”
Asking if pickled onions are automatically served with fish and chips. No, no they are not. Where have you been where pickled onions automatically came with your fish and chips without having to ask for them? That would not be very wise of a restaurant if people did not like pickled onions, we would be wasting an awful lot of food. Nothing comes with the fish and chips other than fish and chips as it states on the menu. However, just because pickled onions do no automatically appear on your plate that does not mean that you cannot order a side dish of pickled onions.
Asking for things that are not on the menu. ‘Fin Finish’ serves traditional British fish and chips, along with several chicken options and burgers. The menu has been the same since the franchise opened over three years ago. The only thing that has been added to the menu is a hotdog, nothing has been taken away. So why is it that after looking over the menu for five-or-so minutes, when taking a table’s order do I often get asked for duck and egg fried rice? We do not sell it. We have never sold it. Please read the menu before you order.
Asking me where the rest of your order is when my hands are full. I can only carry three plates at a time. In case you cannot picture how this is so, with your dominant hand, you rest the first plate on your none-dominant arm, you place second plate on your none-dominant hand and then you pick the third plate up with your dominant hand. There isn’t anywhere else one can carry another plate. If you have ordered a smaller meal and a small side, I can often squeeze one side bowl on to the edge of the plate. Now you have pictured this task, how can I possibly carry the fourth person on your table’s meal and all side of your side plates and bowls? I am not an octopus, nor am I stupid. I know that not all of you table has their food. I am present at your table. I can see. Not only that, but when I was collecting your food from the kitchen there were more plates and bowls for your table. I will bring them over in the second (and possibly third) journey.
Saying, “That’s not mine.” You ordered cod and chips and a bowl of mushy peas, as I stated in the previous point, I can only carry three plates at a time. You have your cod and chips in front of you. That is what you ordered. I will be back with your bowl of mushy peas when I bring the rest. Never, ever say to your waiter/waitress, “That’s not mine,” if your only problem is that not all of your order has arrived, because you could be left with no meal at all if your server takes the plate back into the kitchen, because you have just told them that it is not yours. Of course, if you have ordered southern fried chicken and chips and you are given cod by mistake, then yes, you can say, “That’s not mine,” and your problem will be sorted in seconds, but if that is your food and you are just waiting for your side bowl of mushy peas to arrive then do yourself a favour and not utter those words.
Asking me for a refill when I have my hands full. Whether you call me over to your table or wave your empty glass in my face as I walk past you, if I am carrying a huge stack of plates what do you expect me to do? Can you not politely wait until I return? What do you expect me to do? Do you want me to grow another arm, leave the other table’s dirty plates on your table while I go and refill your drink or would you rather me drop all of the plates on the floor, leave the smashed mess and go and refill your drink for you? Your drinks are unlimited self-service refills, so rather than wait for me to come back and watch me refill your drink at a refill station that is five paces away (when you are clearly capable of doing so) why not use the self-service drinks machine yourself or just wait until I have my hands free.
Not listening to me. Do not assume that the very first thing your waitress/waiter is going to do after you have finished your meal is to force you into having anything else or desserts. We are not trying to steal your money from you by making you purchase more than you already have – especially if you have been rude or spiteful, we would be happy for you to leave. My job is to make sure that you enjoy your meal and your service. The following conversation happens multiple times an hour every single day, is incredibly irritating and makes your waiter/waitress think that you are an incredibly rude person and will possibly severely dislike you upon your next visit:
Me: “Was everything okay with your meal?”
Customer: “No, just the bill.”
Me: “Why, what was wrong?”
Customer: “Nothing; everything was fine.”
Me: “Would you like anything else?”
Customer: “I already told you no.”
Placing the bill in front of a person on the table does not mean I assume that person is going to play the bill. When you ask for the bill, I will either place the check book in front of the person who asks for it or whoever acknowledges me when I bring it over. If you are a table of eight, how can I possibly place the bill in front of all of you? No matter where I place it, it is still going to be closer to one person. Please do not behave aggressively towards me because of this.
Lying. This could be about anyone or anything. Customers continually lie daily, whether it is to try and claim a free meal, a discount or a coupon, your persistent lying can come with a consequence. There are security cameras everywhere. If you lie and say your waiter/waitress left you sat for ages before seeing to you, it is checked on CCTV. Why? Because you could get your waiter/waitress sacked – if you complain that service is slow, it will be even slower if you get every person who waits on your table sacked for no reason, as there will be no staff left in the restaurant. Please remember that your waiter/waitress is a person too, who needs their job to pay their rent and bills, just like you. How would you like it if I showed up where you work and made up a load of lies about you to try and get free stuff and you got sacked because of it. Think twice next time before you lie. Oh and just to give you a heads up, we recognised persistent complainers and we check your complaints back against CCTV. When you complain a second or third time and then complain again when you do not receive a voucher or a free meal, it is because we have caught you lying on camera.
- Josie -
