Jack & Sally

I have spent the entire bank holiday weekend making things. I sewed a pink frog, for my colleague, Amy, whose husband decided last weekend that he wanted to divorce her, because she has saved up enough money to buy them a house. I sewed three green frogs last weekend that went viral, as 11,200+ people liked them and over 400+ people left me wonderful messages and I have replied to each and ever person. Thank you.

I have, also, painted Amy three pebbles (one for her, one for her daughter and one for her son). I have painted the three squishies that Tracie bought me for my birthday and I have made the cat cushion that she bought me for my birthday too. I do have photos of them that I will share at another time, along with my three green frogs from last weekend.

 

Today is the day for my 48 hour craft make. On Sunday and today, I have made two of my favourite characters out of felt. I partially used a craft book, but the instructions were awful and the pattern wasn’t removable or single sided and it had to trace parts by putting my phone beneath the page and tracing over it with bumps and it was awful. The pattern was just for a simple rag doll though and I wanted to make something special. I have recently read ‘All Hail the Pumpkin Queen’ and ‘The Houe of the Pumpkin Queen’, which I enjoyed. Also, my ex-partner loved these too. He was my Jack. I definitely wasn’t pretty enough or goth enough to be his Sally, but I like to think that he would have thought of me as his Sally.

This is the long and slow process of making me Jack and Sally dolls. Sally isn’t completed yet. I didn’t have enough red yarn for her hair, so the yarn is just resting on her head at the moment. I have ordered some red yarn from Etsy and I am hoping that I will be able to finish her next weekend.

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

- Josie -

An Alternate Timeline

I have just finished watching ‘Shrek 4’, and the story line made me think. If Shrek is able to convince Fiona that they are in an alternate timeline, why can’t I do the same. I am fairly certain that I made a deal with Rumpelstiltskin too. I know I cried and said that I would do anything to stop your snoring. I wanted to sleep by your side forever, but your snoring is something that my sensory autism just couldn’t cope with. Not forever. If I made a deal with Rumpelstiltskin to get away from your snoring, just for one night, but he tricked me, and now I am stuck in an alternate timeline, where you are emotionally unavailable. You didn’t want to see me, spend time together, you couldn’t even message me to let me know you were okay. You bought a house without me, without telling me, without sharing that with me. You wanted distance. You wanted to be far away from me. You wanted to be alone. You hung up on me mid-conversation, when a better call came along. You couldn’t agree on a time to talk. You couldn’t message me to say goodnight. You couldn’t share any part of your day with me. You couldn’t spare two minutes of your day to message me. You didn’t want a connection. You didn’t want a conversation. You wouldn’t put in any effort at all. That isn’t you. That is some alternate universe you. The you that I know is kind and caring. He loves me, cares about me, texts me that he loves me every single day. He wants to slowly move into my maisonette. He wants to get engaged. He wants to marry me. He wants to a connection. He wants to feel like I am a part of his day, every day. He wants cuddles and kisses. He wants to see me. He wants to try. He wants to put just as much effort into every day as he did the day that we met. He loves me. I know he loves me. And I love him, with all of my heart. If there is any way in the entire universe that I could somehow reach out to you and convince you of this reality, I wish that you would come back. I wish that the old you, from the previous timeline would return. I miss him. I miss you. I love you, Dexter.

- Josie -

Bumble

 Okay, so I did it. I reinstalled Bumble. I really hope that I can meet someone who doesn't make me feel more lonely that being alone. I want someone who can actually communicate with me, just for two minutes, instead of being able to talk to everyone else in the entire world, including strangers, but not be able to talk to the one connection that is supposed to be their priority. I am so scared that I am too old now. I am scared that I have wasted my life being with people who couldn't treat me with respect and made me anxious and cry, then said it was my fault. I just want to be happy with someone. I'm scared that this isn't possible. I'm scared that all relationships are mentally abusive, to some extent, and I am just not strong enough. I just want someone to cuddle, who loves me as much as I love them, who doesn't disappear and only contact me when they're bored, or when they want something. I'm so scared that I won't get to live with my partner, because that is all I have ever wanted. I'm so scared that it is all too late. I just want to be happy with someone. Maybe I'm too old. Maybe I really am just worthless - that's how people eventually treat me.

Eeeeep!

 Eeeeep! Look what I just found. After ten years of waiting, I finally found him... 

https://www.instagram.com/p/DYVGgpRqr4b/