Black & White Noise

(Josie Sayz: This is my new poetry anthology. It tells a story, compromising of eight poems. It is something that I intended to write last September – I guess it’s better late than never.)

Black & White Noise

1. Why is there a girl left in your bed?

2. I Look Back & Smile

3. Crash! Bang! Gone!

4. Black & White Nosie

5. Happy Being Me

6. Dear Peter

7. Maybe we can work things out?

8. Butterflies

Why is there a girl left in your bed?

You said you need space and time.

I’m sick of you overusing this line.

You can’t keep changing you mind,

About us time after time.

You promised there wasn’t anyone else.

Said I’m the only one your heart melts.

But something just doesn’t feel the same.

I’ve heard you’re connected with another name.

Why is there a girl left in your bed?

Why is there a girl left in your bed?

When it should be me instead?

Is she why you upped and fled?

Why is there a girl left in your bed?

Why is there a girl left in your bed?

You said your parents wouldn’t approve of me.

Their interrogation would only upset me.

They expect a leader, strong and tough.

Loving you just isn’t enough.

You promised that we’d always be friends.

Said you just needed some time to mend.

But now it feels like it was all pretend.

Saw you two together last weekend.

Why is there a girl left in your bed?

Why is there a girl left in your bed?

When it should be me instead?

Is she why you upped and fled?

Why is there a girl left in your bed?

Why is there a girl left in your bed?

Hope you’re happy.

Hope you feel proud.

I’m crying alone.

You’re the centre of a crowd.

I’m the promise

You didn’t keep.

Hope I haunt you

In your sleep.

Why is there a girl left in your bed?

Why is there a girl left in your bed?

When it should be me instead?

You left me for dead.

Is she why you upped and fled?

Can’t forget the lies you said.

Why is there a girl left in your bed?

Why is there a girl left in your bed?

Why is there a girl left in your bed?

I Look Back & Smile

Memories that brought me to tears,

Swept me away, hidden my fears.

It’s all so bittersweet.

They say the heart heals over time,

But without you I’m

Feeling incomplete.

I look back and smile.

Though I haven’t seen you in a while.

People come and others fade.

Nothing ever stays the same.

I look back and smile.

I look back and smile.

When you laced your hand in mine,

Kissed me for the first time,

My heart, it skipped a beat.

When you said, “I love you.”

I knew that I did too.

My feelings in concrete.

Now, I look back and smile.

And I haven’t seen you in a while.

People come and others fade.

Nothing ever stays the same.

I look back and smile.

I look back and smile.

I felt safe in your embrace.

A smile upon your face.

Made my heart skip a beat.

But your feelings swept away,

Leaving me in disarray.

I’m lost and incomplete.

But I look back and smile.

I haven’t seen you in a while.

People come and others fade.

Nothing ever stays the same.

I know it took a while.

I’d forgotten how to smile.

My heart obsolete.

Let go of the hurt and the pain.

Only your kind eyes remain.

And I hope someday we’ll meet.

I look back and smile.

Though I haven’t seen you in a while.

People come and others fade.

Nothing ever stays the same.

I look back and smile.

I look back and smile.

I look back and smile.

Crash! Bang! Gone!

Crash!

When I need you most

You just pull away.

Gone!

Gone without a trace.

You just slipped away.

I can’t take another fight.

Just kiss me goodnight!

You scheme and you lie.

Hurt me too much to forgive you.

Your drunk. Now you’re high.

Can’t see I tried to protect you.

You two-time, you’re a cheat and you don’t got my back.

Crash! Bang! Gone!

Can’t wait to forget you!

Crash!

Broke my heart in two.

Then left me for dead.

Gone!

Thought I wouldn’t see

Another girl in your bed.

You’re in another fight.

Won’t kiss me goodnight!

You scheme and you lie.

Hurt me too much to forgive you.

Your drunk. Now you’re high.

Can’t see I tried to protect you.

You two-time, you’re a cheat and you don’t got my back.

Crash! Bang! Gone!

Can’t wait to forget you!

Crash!

When you left and fled

You made my heart crack.

Gone!

This I won’t forget.

I’ll never take you back.

Not gonna stay and fight.

This is goodnight.

You scheme and you lie.

Hurt me too much to forgive you.

Your drunk. Now you’re high.

Can’t see I tried to protect you.

You two-time, you’re a cheat and you don’t got my back.

Crash! Bang! Gone!

Can’t wait to forget you!

Crash! Bang! Gone!

Can’t wait to forget you!

Black & White Noise

Everything is black and white.

You hurt me, now I’m alright.

I’ve moved on with my life.

I’ve been keeping busy all the time.

I read and write and enjoy my downtime,

Country walks out in the sunshine.

Planning my future, got my goals assigned,

But your smile just crossed my mind.

It’s snowman o’clock,

You’re at the front of my mind.

I know I’ve moved on,

But now it feels like a lie.

I am strong; knees are weak.

How d’you do this to me?

On my strongest days,

Why do I find I miss you?

You were wrong; I was right.

Got no thorns in my side.

Positivity is my guide.

Now I’m heading on the right path.

There’s nothing left to hold me back.

I stop and shudder at a flashback.

I thought my future was aligned.

Thoughts of you start to unwind.

It’s snowman o’clock,

You’re at the front of my mind.

I know I’ve moved on,

But now it feels like a lie.

I am strong; knees are weak.

How d’you do this to me?

On my strongest days,

Why do I find I miss you?

Never got to say goodbye.

Never gave me closure.

Holding you close.

Pictorialism exposure.

It’s snowman o’clock,

You’re at the front of my mind.

I know I’ve moved on,

But now it feels like a lie.

I am strong. Now I’m weak.

How d’you do this to me?

On my strongest days,

Why do I find I miss you?

On my strongest days,

Why do I find I miss you?

Happy Being Me

A confident skip down the street.

Cute, smart and petite.

I’m smiling cheek to cheek.

My life feels so complete.

Strangers that pass me by,

I don’t even bat an eye.

I just keep my head held high,

No more feeling shy.

Now that you’re gone, I can finally be me:

I can listen to the music you don’t like,

Stay up writing stories late at night,

Wish upon a star in the moonlight.

I booked a spot at that campsite.

And you never cross my mind.

Left all the memories behind.

Think of all the places I could see…

I’m just happy being me.

I sing with my ukulele all day,

Eat ice cream and play croquet.

My anxiety has gone away,

Ever since you walked away.

As my heels clop down the street,

I’m marching to my own beat.

No longer feeling obsolete,

Now I’m in the driver’s seat.

Now that you’re gone, I finally feel free:

I can listen to the music you don’t like,

Stay up writing stories late at night,

Wish upon a star in the moonlight.

I booked a spot at that campsite.

And you never cross my mind.

Left all the memories behind.

Think of all the things that I could be…

I’m just happy being me.

What did I ever see in you?

Why did I hold on for so long?

I bid you adieu.

This is where I belong.

I can listen to the music you don’t like,

Stay up writing stories late at night,

Wish upon a star in the moonlight.

I booked a spot at that campsite.

And you never cross my mind.

Left all the memories behind.

Think of all the places I could see.

My anxiety’s set free.

I’m as happy as can be.

I’m just happy being me.

Dear Peter

Dear Peter,

This message is for you.

Never returned my letter.

Now I don’t know what to do.

It’s been seven months since I heard from you.

You don’t know how much I tried to forget you.

I tried to block you from my mind.

But now I feel our lives are intertwined.

So many little things remind me of you.

You made me stronger, if only you knew.

I hope you know that you’re one of a kind.

Your friendship’s one I don’t want to leave behind.

Dear Peter,

What are you going through?

I hope you’re feeling better.

Contact is overdue.

I know you needed to look after yourself.

Hope you didn’t stuff your personality on a shelf.

Wish you could see what I can see.

Because you’re worth it, if you’ll only believe.

I hope you haven’t been down and lost.

I’d cheer you up, no matter the cost.

Please write me back, if you could be so kind.

I can’t get thoughts of you out of my mind.

Dear Peter,

Why did you have to go away?

Can’t you write a letter?

Can’t you come back and stay?

Dear Peter,

Sorry if I sound nosy.

I just miss yer.

Please write back soon,

Love from Josie

Maybe we can work things out?

The sun comes out;

It feels like a good day.

Something’s different –

Negativity’s slipping away.

Now I’m happy on my own

Your name lights up my phone.

It says:

“Josie, can I see you,

In the park tonight?

I’ve made mistakes.

I want to put things right.

I know it’s out of the blue,

I still have feelings for you.

Maybe we can work things out?”

Despite the distance,

Thoughts of you still warm my heart.

I’m apprehensive –

For months we’ve been apart.

Now I’m happy on my own

You name lights up my phone.

And it says:

“Josie, can I see you,

In the park tonight?

I’ve made mistakes.

I want to put things right.

I know it’s out of the blue,

I still have feelings for you.

Maybe we can work things out?”

I’m at the park –

Nervous, my heart is racing.

You appear.

Instantly we’re embracing.

Now we’re as close as can be,

You say to me:

“Josie, here you are,

In the park tonight.

I know I’ve made mistakes.

I want to put things right.

I know it’s out of the blue,

I still have feelings for you.

Maybe we can work things out?”

Butterflies

You give me butterflies.

A tingle down my spine.

My heart fills with pride,

With you by my side.

A walk in the sunshine.

My smile is beaming wide,

As you lace your hands in mine.

My head against your chest.

Your kiss on my head.

Hearing your heartbeat.

I smile. I feel complete.

Your fingers laced in mine.

Your kiss feels just like the first time.

That sparkle in yours eyes.

You give me butterflies.

You sit me on your knee

For all the world to see.

So happy and carefree.

You stroke a hand through my hair.

Into your eyes I stare.

You’ve got me hypnotised.

My head against your chest.

Your kiss on my head.

Hearing your heartbeat.

I smile. I feel complete.

Your fingers laced in mine.

Your kiss feels just like the first time.

That sparkle in yours eyes.

You give me butterflies.

You give me butterflies.

Your fingers laced in mine.

Kisses just like the first time.

You by my side.

Said you’ll make me your bride.

Just want the world to see.

You mean everything to me.

That sparkle in your eyes.

You give me butterflies.

You give me butterflies.

You give me butterflies.

- Josie -