I can’t afford to pay the rent where I live and all of the bills, as well as my mortgage, life insurance and pay to fix all of the things that keep going wrong at my maisonette. My brother refuses to pay a penny at home until I move out. Once all of the water leaks and burst pipes get fixed, which was supposed to have been the 28^th February, then it was moved to the 4^th March and now it has been moved to the 7^th of March, for the foreseeable future, I will be living on the floor, in a sleeping bag, in a maisonette with no gas or electricity. I can’t have any of my belongings with me, either, because there is a hole in the front door, so it won’t be safe to keep anything in the maisonette. I can’t afford to fix anything. I will have no access to my laptop or my phone, so this will likely be the last anyone will ever hear from me. It is going to take around four years to save up enough money to get things fixed. I have no idea what I will do for food, being warm or clean right now. The next four plus years are going to be so hard and scary for me. Goodbye to anyone who might be reading this. I tried my absolute hardest, I really did, but in the end, my best wasn’t good enough… as my anonymous commenter would say, I was never good enough. I’m sorry. I was sorry then and I am sorry now. At least I know that you are living your happily every after now. You deserve to be happy. I was never good enough for you or your parents or your friends… or anyone I have met since then. My best and my hardest and working really hard and fighting harder than most people would ever dream of having to fight has led me to have to sleep on the floor of an empty gas-less, electricity-less flat for the foreseeable future. I never imagined in a million years that things could ever get this bad. That is why I hate thinking positive, like I have been for the past few years, because this is where thinking positive gets you. I can’t stop crying and panicking and I’m not even living there yet. If I had imagined tis scenario, maybe I wouldn’t be as upset and scared. Thank you for reading. Please do not waste your time and check back, because this time next week, I will have no access to my laptop or phone for a minimum for four years, possibly longer, because I haven’t taken inflation into account. Goodbye.

- Josie -