I haven’t stopped crying since Tuesday evening. I can never live with my partner. The one thing that I wanted more than anything. It hurts so much. He is buying his own home miles away. I don’t want a long distance relationship. Six miles is a long distance relationship to me. Living in separate homes two miles away is a long distance relationship. Now we can never have day trips or go on holiday or get married. We can’t cuddle. Everything hurts so much. I’ve always been told, “No one’s ever gonna want to live with you.” I honestly believed that this relationship was different. That I could actually have what I have always wanted, to live together with my partner. If I knew this was going to be long distance when we met, I never would have tried. I hate my life so much. Everything, for my entire life, is always what the other person wants and what is best for them. You have to watch the TV programme your brother wants. You have to play the game your cousin wants. You have to do the presentation idea your friend wants. I am sick of it. Why isn’t it ever, let’s find out what Josette wants. Right now, I don’t want anyone! I do a whole lot better on my own. No family. No friends. No partner. Just me.
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