Middle-Class Snobs
Maybe my relationship problems all stem from dating middleclass people. I come from a very lower working class background of parents on benefits, no to little work, scrounging for pennies for food, bills being paid on credit cards, so that we have electricity, only being allowed the heating on if the building gets below 9°C, constantly moving and renting, not owning any of my own clothes until starting college at 16 years old, never being able to afford to go to an after school club or have a hobby. We didn’t have family computer or the internet until 2008 and even then it was an ex-display laptop that my nan got and she paid for the broadband bill. I am not saying any of this for sympathy. I really don’t think that there was anything wrong with my upbringing. That was my normal. What I struggle with is having friends or a partner.
          I am nothing like my family. I work hard, I own my own maisonette, I go to work every single day, even when I feel poorly and so overwhelmed that I cry all day. I treat everyone equally and with respect. I do not want to be like my lower working-class family. I find that I gravitate more towards working-middle-class people when I form relationships. Part of the reason why things don’t work is simply because the other person’s idea of normal is very, very different from mine. Seeing your friends regularly is not normal – although I do think this is more of an immature thing too, not just a middle-class thing. As most people I know were married by 23-years-old, but immature relationships are a rant for a different time. My point is, a lot of people think that you should be seeing people, and going to restaurants or the cinema or the theatre multiple times a year. To me that is completely insane. Why would people be wasting so much money? There is rent or a mortgage and bills to think about. And that is another thing – the number of people I have dated that do not know that you have to pay a rent applications fee to enquire about renting – that doesn’t mean you will be successful. You usually have to spend £250-£500 just to hand I your application form, which is why most people rent from family and friends, but I never had family or friends to rent from. I have spent over £2,500 applying to rent places in the past and I was unsuccessful for every single place. Luckily some people I dated understood this, but a few didn’t and it shocked me how they didn’t realise how good they had it.
          The poshest place in the midlands was named, and surprise, surprise, my last ex-partner comes from there. They never understood how lucky they had things. They were completely oblivious to money struggles – thinking that they were hard done by. It blew my mind when they really didn’t understand how renting with multiple people under one rent agreement worked and that every household member does not necessarily have their own individual contract with the landlord, one designated person does, so me sending my partner-at-the-time money for rent, despite the three of us living in the rented maisonette is the exact same thing as them living with a friend and sending them money. Mortgage brokers see it as the same time. Your life has not been ruined, because you don’t have a cushy-cushy rent-free life at your parents’ house. Another thing they did not seem to understand is room sizes – they thought a three-bedroom house that could easily house five uni students, was too small. He thought that a huge one-bedroom ex-council flat was small. It is a mansion compared to what I have been used to my whole life. It is way too big for me.
          So, not only do I not cope with the mental abuse that comes with relationships, but I also should never have dated someone in a higher social class than what I was brought up, as we will never agree on anything. It’s a good job I never want to date again. Middle-class people can be infuriating and disgusting. They do not understand how good they have it, how well off they are, and they still think the world owes them and that they are allowed to complain.