16 April 2023

Caitlyn's Rehearsal Dream

 

(Josie Sayz: This is the dream that I had on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. I find it so amusing that I dream of my characters and not about real life. This is not my worked on/trying-to-write writing style. This is just a little piece that I threw together rather quickly, unedited, unworked on. It is my dream, not an actual story. Oh, and this takes place between Arcturus High stories #16 and #17, I am assuming.)

 

Caitlyn’s Rehearsal Dream

 

Chatter echoed through Arcturus High’s main hall, as rehearsals for Mr Flourfield’s history play began. A group of thirty year ten and eleven students congregated on two rows of chairs that had been placed at the front of the hall, facing the empty audience seats. Stood at the front of the group, Mr Flourfield held a script in his right hand, with his left hand behind his back, as he faced his students. “Right,” he projected. Taking a pause, their history teacher waited for the chatter to cease, before continuing. “Let’s take it from the top, but without the script today.” There were a few gasps and muttered murmurs filtered into the air. “You can stay seated for now,” Mr Flourfield told them. “I just want to see that you have learnt your lines. There will be no scripts allowed on performance night, so the sooner you memorise this, the better. Bentley, you’ll start us off,” announced Mr Flourfield, as he strode towards the students’ left, where Bentley was sat on the second row.

Sat on the front row between Emily, on her left, and Darcia, on her right, Caitlyn stared ahead at the two hundred and sixty chairs facing her and the thirteen rows of padded benches that towered towards the ceiling, at the back of the room, like bleachers at a football stadium. ‘In a few weeks’ time, all of those seats will be filled with people staring at us,’ Caitlyn realised. Her eyes darted to a crease in her skirt, as she forced a swallow. Gazing down at her lap, Caitlyn shuddered, as something prodded her left shoulder. Her cheeks flushed a rosy hue, as she turned to see Fabian, sat on the other side of Emily, leaning behind her friend to smile at her.

“Are you okay?” mouthed Fabian, leaning behind Emily. Pinching her lips in, Caitlyn nodded. A smile stretched across Fabian’s face, and he reached out a hand towards her, behind the back of Emily’s chair. Feeling her cheeks blush even brighter, Caitlyn stretched her hand out towards Fabian’s and slipped her fingers into his palm. Fred, who was sat behind Emily, smirked at Fabian.

“Is there something amusing, Mister Fernsby?” asked Mr Flourfield, as he turned on his heels and swept towards Fred, with the tail of his suit jacket billowing out behind him.

“No Sir,” muttered Fred, sinking in his seat.

“Well then, what is your line?” asked Mr Flourfield.

“My line?” Fred repeated, with a frown.

“I know you’re forgetful Mister Fernsby, but at least pay attention,” sighed Mr Flourfield. “Xanthe, your line again, please. Fred, try to pay attention, this time.”

Having shuffled in her seat, Darcia twisted her head over her right shoulder, to keep her back to Mr Flourfield. Her lips parted, as she stared at Fred, entranced. Samantha, who was sat on Darcia’s right, nudged her elbow into the brunette’s side. Twisting her head back to face her friend, Darcia gave Samantha a daggered glare. “Ouch,” she hissed, rubbing her ribs. “What’id you do that for?”

“You’ll get in trouble,” Samantha whispered.

“Humph!” sulked Darcia, folding her arms. As Darcia slouched in her seat, Samantha’s eyes widened, as she spotted Caitlyn and Fabian holding hands behind Emily’s chair. A gasp escaped Samantha, as the blonde tapped a vigorous hand to Darcia’s knee. “What?” hissed Darcia. Curling a hand to her mouth, Samantha pointed towards Caitlyn.

The main entrance door, to the hall, creeped open and Mr Llywelyn stepped inside. “My apologies for the interruption. Mr Flourfield, a word, if you don’t mind,” he said, with a nod.

“Of course,” replied Mr Flourfield, to the deputy head teacher. “I won’t be a moment,” he told his students, as he hurried towards Mr Llywelyn and the two stepped out of the hall.

The second Mr Flourfield disappeared from sight, chatter built among the students. “Fabian, do you two wanna join me and Ariel at the village café quiz night, tonight, after this?” asked Pete, who was sat on Fabian’s left.

“Sure,” he said to Pete, with a shrug. “What d’you say?” Fabian asked Caitlyn, as he spun his head around to face her. “Sound like fun?” Beaming back, Caitlyn nodded.

“Count us in too,” said Fred, hooking his arm around Calli’s shoulder, who was sat on Fred’s left.

“Ooow,” growled Darcia, folding her arms. “Would you look at her?” she huffed to Emily, as she jerked her head towards Caitlyn, sat between them. “Who does she think she it?” Lines wrinkled Emily’s forehead, as she arched her head over her right shoulder, then her left. Seeing Caitlyn and Fabian holding hands behind her and giggling at each other, Emily’s blood boiled. Her hands balled into fists and her jaw clenched.

Leaning forward, around Caitlyn, Emily hissed to Darcia and Samantha, “When the hell did this happen?”

“Everyone knows Fabian’s had a crush on Caitlyn for forever,” Samantha told them.

“No he hasn’t,” Emily snapped. “Who told you that?”

“It’s obvious,” muttered Samantha, with a shrug. “He’ll drop anything to rush to her side and help her.”

“So?” grumbled Emily. “That doesn’t prove anything.”

“Have you seen the way he looks at her?” Samantha said, with a dreamy sigh.

“She knows I like him,” Emily grumbled.

“You like a lot of boys,” Samantha reminded her, with a chuckle.

“And now she’s gonna be closer to Fred,” Darcia cried. “It’s not fair,” she sulked, stomping her foot. “I hate her,” Darcia huffed.

You hate her?” exclaimed Emily. “She’s with the boy I like. I could kill her.”

One of the boys you like,” Samantha corrected her. “You can’t have Fabian and Tobi and Jay and Tim and Jake. Does that mean no one, but you, can ever like them?”

“Caitlyn doesn’t like boys,” hissed Emily. “She doesn’t get crushes on anyone.”

“And how did they know before us?” huffed Darcia, looking over at Pete, Ariel, Calli and Fred. “I thought we were supposed to be her friends.”

“Exactly – supposed to be, but not anymore,” Emily snarled.

“Oh, sorry Emily,” sang Caitlyn, with a bright smile, as she jumped up from her seat, seeing her friend leaning over to speak to Samantha. “We can swap seats if you like. You sit closer to Samantha then.”

“No,” growled Emily.

“Okay,” muttered Caitlyn. Her smile drained, as her shoulders sank. “I’m sorry.”

“Caitlyn!” Pete called, waving her over. Skipping around her friend, Caitlyn stood between Pete and Ariel.

“Hey Emily, move down one, will ya?” called Ariel, as she leant down the row.

“Come on,” Pete sighed. “Don’t be a spoil sport.” As all of the group’s eyes began to stare at her, Emily grumbled, before shuffling along a seat, as she watched Ariel hand Caitlyn a sticky note.

“Right,” boomed Mr Flourfield’s voice, as the door to the main hall swung open and he strode inside. His eyes widened, as he spotted Emily and Caitlyn had traded places. “I see you are eager to rehearse,” Mr Flourfield beamed at Caitlyn and Fabian. “Let us begin with Prince Edward and Princess Florence’s meet,” decided Mr Flourfield, with a beaming grin. A soft, gentle smile poked into the corner of Fabian’s cheek, as he took the fingers of Caitlyn’s left hand in his right, as he gazed at her. “Yes,” exclaimed Mr Flourfield. “Act it out. Speak with your eyes.”

 

*

 

It was the next day. Caitlyn found herself, once again, sat in the main school hall, however this was not an after-school rehearsal, with year eleven. She was sat seven rows back, in the audience section of the hall, at the end of the row, nearest the charcoal-coloured bench seats, adjacent to the courtyard fire escape. Up on the stage were Xanthe and Bentley, acting out their scene, with Mr Flourfield stood in front of them and various members of Caitlyn’s history class dotted around the main hall. Mr Flourfield was using their history lesson as an excuse for the class to rehearse his play. “Louder,” Mr Flourfield told Xanthe. “Caitlyn needs to be able to hear you,” he told her. Caitlyn smiled at Xanthe and waved. Letting out a nervous giggle, Xanthe waved back. Xanthe gave Mr Flourfield a nod, took a deep breath and gave her lines another try.

As Xanthe and Bentley ran over their scene on the centre of the stage, Danny, Derrick W and Tim lingered in the background, acting as villagers one, two and three. While the rehearsal commenced, Darcia noticed Faaria and Annika walking towards Caitlyn. “Urgh, don’t speak to her,” Darcia snarled, who was sat with a group on the charcoal bench seats, at the side of the hall. She scrunched her face up, as she looked towards Caitlyn. “She’s a traitor. She’s pretending to like Fabian, to hurt Emily. Caitlyn doesn’t feel things towards people. She’s only doing it to be popular,” Darcia warned them. Sat beside Darcia, Emily pretended to snivel, as she rubbed her eyes. “If you speak to Caitlyn, you’re standing against Emily. Need I remind you, her father is the Dean of Discipline?” A pleading pout puckered Caitlyn’s brow, as Faaria and Annika looked from Caitlyn to Darcia and back again. Caitlyn’s shoulders sank with defeat, as the girls wandered back to their seats.

‘That’s the third time Darcia’s done this today,’ Caitlyn thought, with a defeated sigh. ‘But I haven’t done anything. I didn’t steal Fabian from Emily. He was never hers to begin with. She doesn’t even speak to him. I’ve been his friend since year seven, and so what if I might like him. I’m allowed to like someone. And Fabian doesn’t like her that way, he told me so before we started hanging out – I made sure to find out; I didn’t want to ruin Emily’s chance, if he did like her. And Emily likes so many other boys. Between her and Darcia, I wouldn’t be allowed to speak to more than three quarters of the male population in years ten and eleven, if I can’t speak to someone they like,’ she told herself, with a sniff. ‘I tried telling them about Fabian yesterday before rehearsal, and during lunch, and in the morning before school, and the day before and the day before that. It’s not my fault they never listen to me. They’re both too interested in their own fantasy lives to pay any attention to mine, and mine’s real.’

As time passed, Caitlyn’s history lesson was over, and it was time for her year group to attend assembly. Sat alone in her seat, Caitlyn lifted her heels to the rim of the seat, pressed her knees into her chest and rested her chin on her knees, as the rest of Mr Flourfield’s students found themselves seats, near the front of the hall. Chatter filtered into the hall, echoing off the high ceiling, as more of Caitlyn’s year group appeared, filling up the chairs, from the front of the hall. Caitlyn sniffed, as she flickered a glance towards the front entrance. Her heart panged, as she spotted Oscar and Derrick M, walking into the hall and heading towards the bench seats, behind her. ‘We have assembly with year eleven,’ Caitlyn realised. ‘I hope I can spot Fabian or Pete. Pete ordered us pizza, when it was Fabian’s birthday a few weeks ago. I wonder if I can order us all pizza later and leave out them three, being as today is my birthday,’ Caitlyn wondered, as she flickered Darcia, Emily and Samantha a sad glance.

A small set of footsteps headed towards Caitlyn. She flickered a glance up to see Phoebe walking towards her, hugging a collection of notebooks to her chest. “You okay?” asked Phoebe, as she stopped before the red head. Caitlyn shrugged.

“I’m okay,” she muttered, sliding her feet to the floor.

“You seem upset,” Phoebe worried, as she stepped past Caitlyn, to sit beside her.

“Careful,” Caitlyn sniffed. “They’ll start rumours about you too, if you sit next to me,” Caitlyn warned Phoebe, as she prodded her head in the direction of Darcia, Emily and Samantha.

“Ignore them,” Phoebe growled. “If they want to be childish, let them.

“Thanks,” Caitlyn sniffed, as she rubbed her eye.

Cuh-clonk, cuh-clonk silenced the hall, as Mr Llywelyn clambered onto the stage, with his walking stick. After he prodded buttons on the music system, his favourite song, ‘Magic Moments’ sang out around the room, as years ten and eleven filled into the hall.

Caitlyn jumped, as a hand pressed into her left shoulder. A gasp escaped her, as she spun her head around. “You okay?” whispered Fabian, appearing behind her, with Pete at his side. Nodding, Caitlyn sniffed.

“Gentlemen,” boomed the ominous voice of Mr Llywelyn, from the front of the stage, through his microphone. Caitlyn, Phoebe and the boys gasped, as they shot their heads in the deputy head teacher’s direction. “No talking. Detention awaits you, if you do not take to your seats.”

“I’ll look after her,” Phoebe told him.

“Thanks,” Fabian whispered back, with a nod, before the boys scarpered, taking their seats on the towering benches at the back of the hall.

 

*

 

Following a long and lonely day, Caitlyn found herself in the main hall, for rehearsals for Mr Flourfield’s play, after school. Sat on the corner of the stage, Caitlyn fumbled around in her backpack. ‘Found it,’ she told herself, as her fingers clasped around a smooth, round object. Her eyes flickered towards Darcia, Emily and Samantha’s bags on the opposite end of the stage, to the three girls standing by the charcoal benches, sniggering, back to the shark eye shell in the palm of her hand. ‘I promised Darcia I would find her pet slug a new house,’ Caitlyn told herself, as she rubbed her thumb across the shell’s smooth surface. ‘She may not be my friend right now, but I still want Bertie to have the shell I found for him.’ Sliding herself off the edge of the stage, Caitlyn stiffened her shoulder blades and lowered her head, as she shuffled towards her former friends’ collection of belongings.

As Caitlyn stood in front of the girls’ bags, a smile prodded into the right corner of her cheek, as she spotted Bertie the slug’s miniature house, which stood no more than two of Caitlyn’s hands high, made from ice lolly sticks, with several fake flowers decorating the outside. “Here you are, Bertie,” Caitlyn sang, as she placed the shell beside the slug. “I found you a little travel house. It will keep you warm in the winter and dry when it rains. You can become a snail now,” she told the slug. “I hope you like it,” she whispered, before waving goodbye to the slug and turning back towards her backpack.

“There she is,” sang Fabian, as Caitlyn spotted him, Pete and Ariel stood beside her bag, at the side of the stage. “Here’s the birthday girl,” Fabian cheered, as he swept towards Caitlyn, wrapped his arms around her in an embrace and lifted her from the ground. Caitlyn gave an excited squeal. “Happy birthday Caitlyn,” he beamed, as he placed her back on the ground and kissed the top of her head.

Looking up from his seat a few rows into the audience section of the hall, on the side of the room closest to the main entrance, a smile spread across Mr Flourfield’s face, as he witnessed Fabian’s affectionate action towards his favourite student. A chuckle escaped him, as he averted his eyes and went back to writing notes in the margins of his script.

“Thank you,” Caitlyn giggled, as she pressed her cheek into Fabian’s chest, hugging him back.

“Are you feeling okay now? Has Pheebs been looking after you?” Fabian asked her, as he leant out of their embrace.

“I’m okay now you guys are here,” Caitlyn replied with a smile, as she leapt to Ariel’s side and gave her a hug.

“We’ve been worried about you,” Pete said to Caitlyn, as he tapped a hand to her shoulder.

“Yeah,” added Ariel. “And you shouldn’t be giving the Wicked Witch of The West a present on your birthday, not after the lies she’s been spinning with her cronies,” Ariel warned her. Gripping her right elbow, with her left hand, Caitlyn shrugged, as the right corner of her mouth prodded into her cheek.

“Caitlyn’s just too nice,” Fabian said, as he rested a hand at the hollow of Caitlyn’s back. A smile prodded into the corners of Caitlyn’s cheeks, as she looked up at Fabian and leant against his side.

“We wanted to invite you out to pizza, with us, to celebrate your birthday,” Pete told Caitlyn.

“Hey, I wanted to tell her,” Fabian sulked, as he hooked his hand around Caitlyn’s waist.

“Don’t worry Romeo,” Pete chucked. “You can sweep her off her feet with the gift you bought her,” he told Fabian. “We were going to invite your friends too,” Pete said to Caitlyn.

“But after what we’ve heard, I feel I should be reporting them to Mister Durrant,” Ariel added, with disgust, as she folded her arms. “I’d love to know what Emily’s father would say, if he knew the lies those three have been spreading. As if people actually believe that you’ve joined a cult, have made voodoo dolls out of them and plan to burn them to summon the devil,” Ariel gave a brief laugh, before sending Caitlyn’s former friends a daggered glare. A deflated sigh escaped Caitlyn, as she turned around to see Darcia, Samantha and Emily cackling on the other side of the hall. “People will believe all sorts of rubbish,” Ariel muttered, shaking her head.

From the other side of the room, Darcia, Samantha and Emily watched on, with furrowed brows, as Fabian handed Caitlyn a present. “Ugh,” gagged Emily. “Why is she getting special treatment?”

“If Fabian gave you a present, you’d be happy,” Samantha told her. Caitlyn let out an excited squeal, as she hugged a palm-sized cuddly panda to her chest.

“At least she doesn’t have Fred’s attention,” Darcia said, as she straightened her posture.

“Another present?” Emily hissed, snarling her nose, as they watched Fabian fasten a bracelet around Caitlyn’s wrist. “Why doesn’t anyone buy me presents?” she huffed.

“We did on your birthday, last month,” Samantha reminded her. “Most of NE did too.”

“Not the same,” Emily grumbled.

“You had more of NE at your birthday party than I did at mine,” retorted Darcia.

“And Fabian bought you a present,” Samantha reminded her.

“Fred didn’t come to my party,” sulked Darcia.

“Now Pete and Ariel are giving her presents,” Emily gasped, as Pete and Ariel handed Caitlyn a small gift bag, between them. “I don’t understand. What makes her so special?”

I’m going to make those Undecimiams know that Caitlyn can’t be trusted,” Darcia growled, as she clenched her fists. “I’ll use Frandadis fruits, if I have to,” she added, as she stormed towards her backpack.

Caitlyn jumped, as a female voice, cleared their throat in a cantankerous manner, behind her. Throwing her head over her shoulder, Caitlyn’s eyes widened and her throat closed up, as she saw Darcia standing before her. Lowering her new notebook, from Ariel and Pete, to rest it on top of her backpack, Caitlyn turned around to face the brunette. Ariel took a step towards Darcia, as Fabian slipped his hand around Caitlyn’s back and Pete gave the red head’s shoulder a squeeze.

“What do you want?” grumbled Ariel, looking Darcia up and down, with folded arms and a suspicious glare.

“Erm, thanks for the shell, Caitlyn,” Darcia muttered, poking at a patch of the carpet, with the toe of her shoe. Her chest trembled under Ariel’s daggered glare.

“That’s okay,” replied Caitlyn, her voice no more than a whisper, as her shoulder blades stiffened, and an icy shudder crept down her spine. She threw Fabian a worried glance and forced a swallow.

“We saw you received some gifts. What’s the special occasion?” Darcia asked Caitlyn.

We’re celebrating our friend’s birthday,” Pete announced, projecting his voice loud enough to draw Mr Flourfield’s attention. “We care about Caitlyn and want her to feel safe at school.” Rising from his chair, Mr Flourfield paced towards them.

 

(And then I woke up.)

 

- Josie -

11 April 2023

Office Etiquette Advice Required

I am in need of a little advice. Before explaining the situation in my office, I do want to mention that I have Asperger’s and struggle with loud noises and confrontation. The office where I work is very small. I sit in a room of six desks, I will draw a picture, so it is easier to understand the layout:

There are a number of things that I want to get off my chest. I do not know whether it is my Asperger’s struggling with these things, or whether others would say that these things are bothersome. I have not said anything to any of the individuals involved, nor have I discussed any of these with fellow staff members, as I do not want to offend or upset anyone. I cannot handle confrontation and I just want to keep the peace and for everyone else to be happy, even if it means I am not.

I sit at Desk 1. The gentleman that sits at Desk 3 does not seem to know his own strength. He doesn’t just tap along with the music; he thumps his fist into the table. This rattles everything on the desk (from Desk 1 to 3). He does not do this too often, but when he does, he can bang along to an entire song.

Desk 3 over pronounces the letter ‘T,’ when it appears at the end of words. It sounds as though they are tutting at the end of pronouncing their name and certain words, like, “Can’t,” or, “Most,” or that he is teaching a small child how to say the letter “tuh.” He doesn’t over pronounce any other letter. No, “dow-nuh,” or “soun-duh.”

Desk 3 does not sit tucked in at the desk. He sits far back from his keyboard, which must not only be bad for his posture, but it means that Desk 1, 2 and people from another room cannot get to the printer. It also makes it difficult for Desk 4, 5 and 6 to get out of the room. Even when they are not at their desk, they leave their chair in the middle of the walkway. We are in a very narrow room. If you are not tucked into your desk, it makes it impossible for anyone to get around you. I have a bookcase directly behind my desk that requires regular access. If I was not conscious of the people around me, I would be delaying everyone from doing their jobs. The person at Desk 3 will be the first person to complain if they have to wait for someone to move.

Desk 3 believes that their connotations of a word/concept are the same as everyone else’s denotations. We have a rule that you are not allowed to eat your lunch at your desk, because we are on full view of customers, shopping for blinds. The denotation for eating at your desk is that it is unprofessional – a customer might think you are playing Solitaire, but his connotation of eating at his desk is that he is so busy he doesn’t have time for a break, but the thing is, he still goes out to take his half an hour break. We are allowed to eat a snack at our desk, eg a couple of biscuits or a banana. The person at Desk 3 does not see the difference between a snack and eating his full lunch at his desk. He says he will just prepare his lunch into small pieces, the size of biscuits. Everyone else has to use their thirty minutes to eat their lunch and do whatever you need to, but he believes that his lunch break is not for eating his lunch.

Desk 2 is my line manager and she is in control of the radio, from her computer. The speaker is on top of the filing cabinet, behind Desk 5. Desk 2 gets a say on what radio station we have on, changes it when she doesn’t like a song and changes the volume as and when she feels like it. I have no interest in music, so the constant change in the radio does not bother me, but the volume does. If she changes the radio station, sometimes the volume will rocket up and she will not turn it back down, because next time she changes back to the previous station it will be quiet, but also she likes to listen to music full blast, so she doesn’t see the problem. I cannot concentrate, or cope, with loud music and get and instant migraine.

I do the same job as Desk 3. I had to answer the phone to customers, after being here two weeks. I have been in the office a year now. Desk 3 started in May last year. It is now April and they still refuse to answer the phone if I am on another call and it is ringing out, because he does not like not knowing what the caller wants before answering it. He doesn’t even like speaking to someone, when I transfer the call through to him, and tell him what the project is regarding, if he isn’t currently working on that project or if it is not open on his PC. This is my first admin job. I have worked in an office for four years prior, but I was just the office junior and was not allowed to answer the phone. Desk 3 is twelve years older than me and has been working in an office for at least 20 years. It is not a lack of experience thing.

Desk 3 stands up and faffs in his backpack for almost 10 minutes to get a mug out of his bag to make a cup of tea, every day at 10am. He will not leave the mug on his desk or in the kitchen and he insists on burying it at the bottom of his backpack everyday, so it takes forever to get it out, emptying the entire contents of his bag onto his desk. Everyone has noticed that he does this – Desk 6 has started timing how long it takes him. If I take too make toilet breaks, he will make a comment, but it takes me 3 minutes to go to the toilet and be back at me desk, which is quicker than him looking for his mug.

Is it acceptable to take your shoes and socks off in an office of this size? When I’m freezing, I will slip my dolly shoes off and sit cross legged, but I do have two pairs of socks on and no one sees my feet. Desk 3 has a pair to laced up hiking boots and will take them off, swap their socks and then put on a different pair of hiking boots, every day at 16:50, when there are ten minutes left of the working day. This colleague also thinks that 8am start is the time that should appear at the door, not the time that they should be sat in their desk working. I get in at 7:50am, put my things away, make a drink and start my computer up, so that I am ready to start work at 8am, but they do not.

Desk 5 is shared between two people. Sometimes one of the co-directors will use it. Sometimes our external project manager will use it. When the director uses it, she talks to Desk 6 so loudly that I cannot hear the person on the phone I am talking to. I have made several mistakes, through not being able to concentrate or even hear myself think.

When the external project manager is at Desk 5, my manager, at Desk 2, acts like a spoilt brat. She often refuses to speak to him, or will make comments under her breath. It is like having two squabbling children in the office. Desk 2 will storm off and slam the door, when she does not get her own way and she will always have the radio on louder when she is in a mood with him.

Sometimes Desk 2 will be in a mood in general, whether it be work related or home related. They will act like a moody teenager. It makes her impossible to approach when I have a question. I am currently learning a new part of the business and I need to ask questions, because if I do something wrong, she will be in even more of a mood.

Our other co-director sits in a glass room behind my row of desks and shouts to Desk 2, from his desk and that is distracting. He also liked to pace behind Desks 1 to 3, and I have a bookcase right behind my desk, so I have to squish myself in really tight and I make mistakes because he is looming over me, often talking on the phone, making it almost impossible to concentrate.

Desk 4 seems to be cursed. In the year that I have been here, we are on our fourth person to work that job. Does anyone else have a cursed desk or job position?

Desk 3 had to transfer my phone to the next room for me, so that I could continue the call with our card payment machine. The call did not transfer on his first attempt, so instead of trying again, he just left me on hold and continued working. When I asked him why he didn’t let me know, he shrugged, and said he pressed the buttons that I told him to, and it wasn’t his fault that it didn’t go through. So rather than tell me, he just left me waiting, thinking that he was going to transfer the call any second. All he had to do was try again and he knows this. It doesn’t always work first time, but it will the second time – Desk 3 knows this. He kept my customer on hold, waiting for almost five minutes in total. This was my customer’s phone bill too, not our company’s.

Desk 3 refuses to write in biro. They will only write in fountain pen, because that is the “proper” way. Even when they are only taking notes. They say that they are so tight, money-wise, that they cannot afford contribute £2 for birthdays, yet they can only write in the most expensive pen. I struggle money-wise. I have to keep a roof over my family’s head. He lives with his mum and dad, has never paid a penny towards anything and does not see why he should. He and his wife aren’t saving to buy a house, because he is going to inherit his parents’ house when they die (it was his grandparents’ house and his parents never bought a house) and he doesn’t drive because he doesn’t see why he should, because he gets coffered around by his parents. His wife is due to move over from the Philippines soon and she is used to renting her own flat. Is she really going to okay with living in his bedroom, in his parents’ house? I know what it is like when your partner has a housemate, but to have to live with their parents too and on a permanent basis, without the future thought of one day getting your own place to keep you going. I buy a box of 20 biros for around £4.99 and they last me a couple of years. At home, I pay £600+ a quarter, towards utility bills and I pay £450, a month, rent. I never learnt to drive because I can’t afford to. I am trying my hardest to save what I can, so that I can buy my own flat one day. I still contribute £2 to birthdays. There are only 10 of us in the whole of the office, and most of the birthdays are all spread out (two in January, one in February, one in May, one in July, one in August, two in October, one in November and one in December). Desk 3 only ever has to spend their wages on themselves. They are on more money than me too.

Over the past couple of weeks, Desk 3 has decided to do an over exaggerated sigh regularly throughout the day. On Tuesday, of last week, he sighed heavily 120 times. Yes, I have started counting. On Wednesday it was 86 times. The previous week, on Monday, it was only 62 times. That is excluding the sighs that he might also do during my lunch break. The job is not too difficult, providing you concentrate. Desk 3 uses Excel to create spreadsheets, which pulls data from various places, doing a large part of the task for him. He doesn’t have an additional side of the company to do work for, like I do. He just has linear tasks to work though each day, without ever having to leave one task part-way through to move onto something else, with the once every 6-8 week phone call that he may receive. He has nothing to worry about outside of work and everything in life sounds as though it is running exactly as he wants it to, so why do a hundred over exaggerated, frustrated sighs throughout a nine hour day?

I know you can say that everyone else in the office will have a huge list of things to complain about me too, and I know that. I am very conscious of my volume when I am on the phone, because I know how distracting it is, hearing someone speaking loud – the only time I will speak louder, is if a customer cannot hear me. I have the noisy keyboard (the keys clatter when you type them) and I know it is annoying when I am typing fast. I do try hard to type slower, to quieten the volume. I know that I am a very sickly person and I get colds and coughs two to three times a year, but I have not made any of my colleagues ill. I am so careful to keep my germs to myself and I have a hand sanitiser on my desk, to always wash my hands after coughing or sneezing. I know there are likely a number of things that I do, that I am unaware of, that my colleagues probably find annoying, but I do try my hardest not to cause disruption. I have the ringer on my desk phone turned down, as I receive the most phone calls and I am conscious of the noise pollution.

I have come from an office where if someone is bullying you and you went to HR, all they would do is pass the information onto that person’s line manager, who would say, “That’s just how they are,” shrug and tell you to get used to it. We do not have a HR or Personnel where I work now and none of these things are bad, they are just annoying. The person at Desk 3 believes that they are in the right about everything in the world that they do. They do not agree with health and safety rules and say that you cannot tell them what to do. They also have a, “tit for tat,” attitude about them. If I were to copy them, in hopes of showing them how annoying they are likely to praise me for doing things, “properly.” I have put up with a lot worse, but just wondered if anyone had any advice as to how is best to cope or deal with things. Any help or advice is much appreciate. Oh and working from home is not an option, I am afraid.

 

- Josie -

06 April 2023

I’ve Got Something to Tell You

(Josie Sayz: I have been very inspired by Kate Nash lately. This poem is heavily inspired by her writing/musical style.)

I’ve got something to tell you.
I’ve got something to tell you,
But I can’t.
I know I’m a ghost to you.
I don’t want to hurt you -
I can’t.
But I’ve got something to tell you.

You’ve lived with her a year now,
You think everything is fine,
But there’s something you don’t know,
A secret she’s been trying to hide.

The bracelet that you gave her,
She left in my brother’s car.
I thought you two were engaged.
I’m surprised my brother got that far.

Your girlfriend’s not that pretty
And my brother’s not that witty.
But they’ve been spotted on the backseat
All throughout the city.

I’ve got something to tell you.
I’ve got something to tell you,
But I can’t.
I know I’m a ghost to you.
I don’t want to hurt you -
I can’t.
But I’ve got something to tell you.
I’ve got something to tell you.

 

- Josie -