Life's Hard, But I Am Writing

I am still struggling with missing my ex and hating how he changed into the person that he said he wouldn’t and became mentally abusive. The past few weeks have been an emotional yoyo. I keep going from being okay, to crying hysterically at my desk, to feeling like I can get through the day but being very fragile, to hating everyone and wanting to be on my own, to missing the old/nice him so much that I can’t concentrate.

Today, however, I forced my thoughts to concentrate and spill all of my fragile and yoyoing energy into a teeny, tiny little early Arcturus High #2 paragraph. It isn’t polished or edited and I haven’t even completed all of the dialogue sentence parts, but I needed to try to prove to myself that I can still write…

 

“Caitlyn, may I have a word outside?” Mr Penn announced to the room. Caitlyn’s head shot up. Her eyes widened, as she sniffed a sharp inhale. Looking towards Mr Penn, Caitlyn gave a small nod, as she rose from her seat to follow her teacher toward the back of the classroom. As she shuffled past Lyra, Caitlyn’s line of sight was drawn to Fabian, who plonked himself back down in his seat.

“What did Mr Penn want?” Pete asked him. Sensing Caitlyn’s stare, Fabian looked up. Their eyes met. He gave Caitlyn a soft smile. A warmth prickled in her chest and Caitlyn felt her cheeks begin to burn. She shuddered out of her thoughts just in time to avoid bumping into Carlos, who was waving his arms around.

“I failed my Chemistry test,” she heard Fabian tell his friends. “Mr Penn was just giving me extra homework.”

“You failed?” exclaimed Oscar in disbelief. “But you’re the smart one. What hope have the rest of us got if you failed Mr Penn’s test?”

“I dunno, I guess it was just harder than I thought.” Fabian’s voice faded into the background of the Naeniam Exponentia’s experiment chatter.

            Lowering her head, Caitlyn made her way outside of Mr Wye’s music classroom and into the corridor. A lump formed in her throat. “I’m sorry,” she blurted out, looking up at Mr Penn. “I was too harsh on Bentley, wasn’t I? I didn’t mean to; it’s just he wasn’t being careful and-”

“You’re not in trouble, Caitlyn,”

“Sir, I’m really sorry, I-”

“I said, you’re not in trouble, Caitlyn.”

 

- Josie -