24 October 2025

Frankenstein's Creation

I’m your monster, Dr Frankenstein,
You won’t spare me one minute of your time.
Your mental games are pushing me to self-destruct.
I’m scared to speak up my mind.
My hurt feelings, I try to hide.
I love you, but I think I’ve had enough.

These past few months have been real tough.
Done with not feeling good enough.
Tired, I always have to prove.
Hurt, but I don’t want to lose –
You.

I’m your creation, you can’t deny.
You moulded me to believe your lies,
Hidden somewhere deep within the truths.
Four long years, I can’t believe,
How you built me up, only to deceive.
How did I not see the mental abuse?

These past few months have been real tough.
Done with not feeling good enough.
Tired, I always have to prove.
Hurt, but I don’t want to lose –
You.

You showed me so many happy things.
Filled my mind with future dreams.
Started perfect; I wish we could restart.
You stole it, now you’ve broke my heart.

This nightmare, it killed our dream.
Reminder eleven seventeen.
It stabs through my heart, every year, it’s true.
The creation of a mastermind.
I can’t erase you from my mind.
Time spent with you is all I ever knew.

These past few months have been real tough.
Done with not feeling good enough.
Tired, I always have to prove.
Hurt, but I don’t want to lose –
You.

 

- Josie -

22 October 2025

Dream 16/10/2025 - An Arcturus High Alternative Timeline

A smirk etched across his face. Sat at the back of the bus, Kieran slumped back in his seat, as he ran his hand across the back of his head. The soft texture of his tiny afro tickled the tips of his fingers. His school bag, a bright cyan sports store shopping bag, on a pull-string, lay at the ground, between his feet. A few flakes of cyan fluttered to the floor, as the paint chipped from the glossy texture of the bag. Girlish giggles and chatter sounded around him, as the bus began to fill with secondary school aged pupils from various local schools. An array of light grey with marl speckles, slate grey, navy and jet-black uniforms bustled up the aisle and into seats. His eyes began to wander from girl to girl, as they each dropped into one of the many seats in front of him.

The bus jerked. Kieran’s eyes shot forward. A seeping hiss sounded, as the bus opened its doors, at the next bus stop. A familiar, stocky girl caught his attention. At average height, for a year seven pupil, the girl’s uniform matched his own. Jet-black, with the turret embossing on the upper left blazer pocket. With her hair cut in a short, dark bob, her fringe hung over her brass-coloured spectacles. Her eyes darted across the sea of students before her. Then she spotted him. A small snarl curled into the corner of her nose. As Kieran gave the girl a slight nod, the brunette lowered her head and scarpered into a nearby seat, at the front of the bus.

Several bus stops passed, before Kieran rose from his seat. Grabbing the cord of his bag, Kieran swung it over his head, as he began to swagger down the bus. Unaware that he was behind her, the brunette rose from her seat too and edged towards the front of the bus. The pair stumbled forward, as the driver came to an abrupt halt. The doors opened. Hopping off the bus, the brunette waved to the boy waiting at a nearby tree. As Kieran plonked onto the pavement, his line of sight shifted towards the tree. “Jay, mate, how yer doin’?” Kieran asked, as he strode towards the boy. The slim, tall boy, with a nest of dark hair took a step forward. The two boys clapped their hands together, before shaking hands and tapping each other on the back, in a bear-like quick embrace. The brunette, stood beside them, pinched her lips in and pressed her hand to her mouth, as she compressed a giggle. “What yer laughin’ at?” Kieran growled, as he turned towards the brunette.

“You two were hugging,” she giggled, with blushing cheeks.

“Shut it,” growled Kieran, as he snarled his nose at her.

“Calm down,” Jay warned his friend. “Darcia means no harm. Girls don’t shake hands, like guys do.”

At the mention of plural girls, the snarl dropped from Kieran’s face. His lips parted. A gazed stare froze across his face. As he stared deep in thought, his brows slanted together. “Where’s Caitlyn?”

“She’s coming,” Jay replied, in an upbeat, confirming tone. Darcia turned towards him, with a puckered brow. “She said she’ll catch up.” Distant movement caught Jay’s attention, and he turned to his left, as the red head bounced towards them.

“Sorry I’m late,” apologised Caitlyn, with a weak smile, as she appeared between Jay and Darcia.

“Don’t worry about it. You’re not late,” Jay reassured her, as he prodded the right corner of his mouth up into a gentle smile. Darcia placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder and gave it a very soft squeeze.

During this interaction, Kieran’s pupils widened. His heart hammered against its imprisonment. Sweat clamed his palms. “Mornin’ Caitlyn!” Kieran blurted out.

 

Then I woke up.

- Josie -

15 October 2025

Maisonette Update - 15/10/25

 (Josie Sayz: I cannot upload any of the pictures right now, because the Windows 11 update has destroyed my laptop. First it needed 2.81gb of space, which I made for it. Then it needed 3.31gb, which I made for it. Then it decided that it needed 4.5gb, which is impossible, because even when I deleted everything from it, I never had that much space. Now it wants 6.89gb and my laptop now has 0gb, so I can't upload photos. I also cannot enrol to keep the Windows 10 security until 13/10/26, because the Windows 11 pending update has taken up too much space. I keep trying to delete it via c\Windows\SoftwareDistribution\Downlaods but my laptop crashes, because it doesn't have the memory space to wipe the folder. Thank you, Windows, for breaking a second laptop. The last forced update destroyed my last ASUS laptop. Why do new Windows system updates require more space than laptops come with?)

 

Goodness, it has been a while, since I have done one of these. I definitely know that I need to do one. Cal, I am sorry this is late. I know I did promise you an update, with some pictures.

So, I have moved into my maisonette. I moved in on Thursday 11th September – oow, that is just over a month ago! At first, I didn’t have any gas or electricity. British Gas came and were able to update the gas meter, but the electricity meter is still a difficult one. Above the box where National Grid’s part ends, but below where an energy supplier’s part begins there is a metal box, where the electricity is divided to the four maisonettes, in the block. Well, apparently, this part is outdated, and a regulation was passed that states energy suppliers can no longer carry out works to old wirings, such as this, as it is no longer deemed safe. The leaseholder won’t outlay the money to upgrade it, and if they are made to, they will pass the bill on to me. It is safe to use electricity from it, but it isn’t safe to change the meter. My meter is different from the meter that British Gas have on their system, because they are incompetent and didn’t keep it updated, when the previous owner got put on a pre-payment meter for not paying the bills, then when the top half of the meter was taken away, because she got into so much debt. I have to be with Briths Gas, because that is who the previous owner was with, and for some unknown reason, British Gas has the property registered as off the grid and with pre-payment meters, where it is not off the grid and has credit meters. As the property is registered as off the grid, no other energy company can switch me over to be with them. I am, finally, in talks with someone in the UK, thanks to my local MP, and baby steps are happening. I am allowed to use both the gas and the electricity now too.

My boiler was dodgy, and my plumber (who is also a certified gas technician) said that it would have been fitted illegally. It would have cost over £1,000 to have him try to make a fix to the boiler, to make it safe, but that wouldn’t guarantee that it would last the month. The plumber is a friend of my mum’s, and he agreed to fix my water waste pipes (the washing machine and sink were using the same pipe and it would have damaged the maisonette of the man below, if I had used it, as it was old and broken) and fit me with a new boiler for £2880, which was incredibly kind of him. My new boiler, and all of the pipes, look a thousand times better than the old one. I know it is safe. It was fitted with someone that I trust. He even had to brick up an old flu pipe, that we didn’t know was there, which was dangerous to leave open. So, I have a brand new boiler, which means that I have hot water in my bathroom sink and bath (my shower is electric and I have nothing in the kitchen). Oh, and the towel rack is gas and that dried my towel, when we tested the radiators. I have already had the pipes replaced to two of the radiators, so they are all working okay. And I have had all of the water pipes lagged in the loft. I will share a picture of my old boiler and my new boiler:






I have had a new front door fitted, but there are problems with that too. I paid £2,450 to have my flimsy wooden door, with a hole in it, replaced with a fire door. It is a legal requirement for all maisonettes to be fitted with a fire door. I found a local company that manufacture fire doors (it kind of has to be local, or you get charged a huge fee for them having to drive halfway across the country with a very heavy door). So, the guy who came and did my door quote said it would take two hours to fit my new door. It actually took them seven hours and they had two of my lights on the entire seven hours and they constantly used my electricity to cut the door and door frame down and use my vacuum to clean up the mess. Not only that, but they fitted the door to the wrong side and are 100% adamant that they didn’t. Lucky for me, I have a photo of the door before. They still don’t care. The door isn’t properly fitted as a fire door, because it doesn’t slam closed on its own; I have to close it myself, which is against the regulations of a fire door. To add to that, I got locked in on the first night, because the latch wouldn’t open, from the inside. It was so stiff that the only way to open it was with a pair of pliers and all of my strength with both hands. I was so incredibly lucky that I had just bought a tool kit two days earlier, otherwise I would have still been locked in now, and this was three weeks ago! I was so scared, because there is a communal front door, that needs a key fob to get into, so even if I called the fire brigade, they couldn’t help me. There is an intercom, but mine has never worked. I have contacted the leaseholder, who said they had asked an engineer to contact me, but no one ever has. Oh and to add to that, the door company have said that they will only refund me £300, which is what my manager says it would have cost him to fit my front door (as it not fitted as a fire door) so they know they have ripped me off. The door company said that if they come back to put the door on the correct side, they won’t fit the fire safety chain on the inner hinges, because that is an inconvenience and a danger to his engineers. How infuriating! Oh, and I was promised, when I received my quote, that they would leave me with the RAL colour paint pot to do touch ups to the scratches, but they never did. It is a better front door than I had previously. I can still smell the cannabis, from the young couple, who live diagonally downstairs, but at least the door is a lot safer. Anyways, here are the before and after pictures of my front door:






On a positive note, I do have all of my belongings in my maisonette now. I still don’t have a kitchen or a living room, but I am getting there. I had the ceiling lights fitted for my bedroom and hallway on Monday. I found out that the previous owner, also, did a botched job with her light fittings, which is why they were swinging from the ceiling and didn’t work. I only have a light in the bedroom and the hall. My electrician had already fitted a bathroom-safe light in the bathroom for me. I won’t be able to have my lights fitted in the living room for a while yet, but that’s okay, because that is still a construction site, as is the kitchen. Here are the old and new lights:





My bedroom is kind of cluttered, because I have my desk, bookcase and craft trolley in it, and they are supposed to be going in the living room. Oh and I bought a giant frog plush to sit on the settee, but he is currently sat on my desk chair, at the bottom of my bed. I love him. He can cuddle me back- how cool is he!






My electrician is going to fit my kitchen either the middle of next week or the middle of the week after, so that is exciting. I can’t wait to have a kitchen. This will be the first time, in my entire life, that I will have access to a kitchen! I cannot wait to cook food, and learn to cook things, and learn to bake – my partner’s sister said she will teach me how to bake, as she is an amazing baker! I am really looking forward to that.

Guess what – I’m not a secret! That message is for that one person who occasionally reads my blog and you know who you are.

I have, finally, managed to get the painted on wallpaper and the thick wallpaper paste off the ceiling in the living room, after a lot of work. I, also, managed to remove the wallpaper from the accent wall, in the living room too. That is all I have managed to do, at the moment, as the living room is kind of a storage area, until the kitchen is done. Here are a few pictures of the progress.






I really just want all of the renovating bits to be over with, so I can, finally write stories, like I have been wanting to for the past fifteen-plus years, and cook dinner for myself and my partner. He has a very unfortunate living situation, where his diet is restricted for him, by his housemate, so I would very much like to try to help him out, by cooking for him. At the moment, we have just been having takeaways, so that he can, at least, eat somewhat normal food, while he is out of the house. It’s definitely not healthy though. I can’t wait to cook lots of pasta dishes!






Erm, I think that might be all. I can’t think of anything else, right now, but my brain is currently mashed potato. I currently have laryngitis again, because I screamed in my sleep, last weekend. I have an incredibly dry, sore throat and a cold with it, just like I always do. I have been very shivery and no matter how warm I get, it isn’t enough. Both of my managers said that I could go home yesterday, but I powered through and stayed at work all day. I am currently listening to Scott Bradlee’s ragtime piano music, because it is very soothing for me, and I just find ragtime piano music so much fun. If I ever became the luckiest person in the world and somehow Moonstone Fortress became published and turned into a film, Scott Bradlee is going to cameo as the pianist in the Wreck Age Inn.

I will leave it there for now. I daresay I have missed something, because there is a nagging part in my brain that says that I have.

- Josie -