Government to Dye All Food Blue

(Josie Sayz: I just want to confirm that this was an April Fool. It does have some logic to it. The research behind the blue plates is all true, but would the government go as far as to dye your food blue?)

The government will begin to dye all food blue. This sounds like a weird and outlandish statement, and that is because it is. But it is true. Due to the Coronavirus and the UK facing lockdown, people will not be able to get their usual amount of exercise. Gyms are closed. Leaving the house is prohibited, unless it is critical. Yes, the government have said that people can exercise, but for someone who walks marathon lengths for fun, I doubt this kind of exercise will be classes as essential.

The volume of groceries purchased since the fear of the virus was announced has been staggering. The average customer shop increased from £30 to £125. What are people doing with all of this food? What is the need for it? Is it panic buying? If so, why are the public continuing to go out and queue for food?  What are they doing with the huge quantities of food that they are purchasing? They cannot possibly be consuming it all, can they?

If the country continues to consume these large amounts of food, without exercising, weight will be gained. Rather than blaming themselves for having no self-control over the consumption of large portions of food, the people will, with no doubt, blame the government for the strict lockdown procedures. Once lockdown is lifted, people will be a lot heavier than they were prior to the pandemic. One might say that this is part of an economic plan, as clothing stores will have been closed for many weeks, possibly months, they will not have made any more. However, if everyone has gained weight then they will all need to buy new clothes.

But how will the government come back from this issue, I hear you ask? If people start blaming the government for their weight gain, are the not going to expect the government to respond? Of course. People will always blame someone else for their own actions and in times of crisis, people will blame the government. So how will the government respond? How will they counteract everyone’s weight gain?

The government will dye all food blue.

Why is this, I hear you ask? How absurd, I hear you say. Surely not, right? Well, research has shown that eating food from a plate with a higher colour contrast to the food encourages your brain to eat less. Having blue plates has been proven to help people eat smaller portion sizes, as the large contrast between light coloured foods (such as rice and pasta) and the blue plates makes the portion appear larger to the human eye, which therefore encourages you to consume less. Well, the government is not going to pay to replace the entire country’s dining ware with blue plates; that would cost the country a pretty penny. And what would we do with all of the old plates? What a waste. So, what is the alternative?

Dying all food blue.

Most households have white, cream or light-coloured dining plates and bowls. If eating pale food from blue plates creates a contrast, why not reverse it? Everyone will eat blue food from pale plates. Yes, it might seem strange for a while: blue pasta, blue rice, blue fish, blue chicken, blue carrots, blue banana, blue chocolate, blue French fries. But if it makes people believe that they are consuming a larger portion than they are, or even if it puts people off eating for a while, people will start to consume less calories. And is that not the point?

If blue food helps you eat less and lose the weight that you will have gained whilst being sat around in your house for months at a time, reading books, playing computer games and watching ‘Netflix’, this might just be the way forward. We have all had to make changes, sacrifices, and for those extroverted people, learn to adapt to new ways of living. Well, perhaps blue food in the next new adaption to the way we live that we need.

The government to dye all food blue. It may seem odd. It may look different. But it will save lives.

- Josie -