Reconciliation

(Josie Sayz: This is the newest instalment of my ‘Jane Chronicles’ series. I’m not writing them in order (which I know isn’t helpful) but the one that started it all off (which is not the first in the series, but I haven’t written the first one yet) is ‘Peter and Jane’ https://josiesayz.blogspot.com/2017/01/peter-and-jane_20.html  My ‘Moving’ https://josiesayz.blogspot.com/2019/05/moving.html story although is a Peter and Jane story, it isn’t in the series. It’s just a silly little something I wanted, at the time of writing it. Mr Starkey still sold ‘The Neverlandian News’ to ‘Hook’s Inc.’ and Fox (and many of the others) still moved to work for Mr Hook. Jane still moved to work for the ‘SlightlyFood’ network for a few months, before returning in ‘Jump’ https://josiesayz.blogspot.com/2020/02/jump_66.html

 The characters from this story are all taken from JM Barrie’s ‘Peter and Wendy’ and ‘Peter Pan’ and ‘Disney’s ‘Peter Pan,’ ‘Return to Neverland,’ and the ‘Disney Fairies’ franchise.
Peter is the main male protagonist.
Jane is the main female protagonist (in ‘Disney’s ‘Return to Neverland’ she is Wendy’s daughter, but in this story she is not related to Wendy).
Iridessa is Peter’s girlfriend (and is from the ‘Disney Fairies’ franchise).
Wendy is Peter’s housemate.
Fox is Jane’s friend. He works with Peter at ‘Hook’s Inc.’ following ‘The Neverlandian News’ merge. Fox is own through Peter Pan lore (and various recreations) that Fox was once a Lost Boy.
Curly is Fox’s boyfriend.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or location references – these are works by JM Barrie and ‘Disney’.)

 

Reconciliation

 

His heart fluttered. Her soft hand stroked his cheek. Tingling danced up his spine. A sweet fragrance wafted inside is nostrils. Warmth sprang from his chest. Nestling her head beneath his chin, she wrapped her arms around him. His eyelids lowered. A warm hum escaped him, as he stroked a hand through her red hair. Tilting her head towards him, she whispered, “I love you.” An explosion of butterflies erupted from his stomach.

He bolted upright. His eyes pierced open. Darkness. Sweat trickled down his back. Gasping for air, his chest trembled. ‘That dream again,’ he shuddered. He closed his eyes, inhaling a slow, shaky breath. Turning to his right, he gazed down at the brunette, asleep beside him. Knots twisted in his intestines. Sliding his hands up his face, he pressed his fingers into his closed eyelids. He groaned. A tightness squeezed at his throat. Dragging his hands through his scalp, he clawed at his hair, before rolling his shoulders back. ‘It was just a dream’ he told himself, exhaling a long, deep breath.

Glancing back at his sleeping partner, his heart flopped to his stomach. His eyes dropped to his mobile phone, on his bedside table. He prodded his thumb into the ‘Home’ button. The screen illuminated. It was 00:38. He grunted. Sliding the phone back onto the table, he grabbed the edge of the duvet and rolled onto his side.

With his back to her, he stared ahead at the wall for some time. Knots spiralled in his stomach. He snarled his nose. Snapping his eyes tight, he inhaled a sharp breath. ‘Why won’t you go away?’ he cursed at the image of the redhead in his mind. He rolled onto his back. A gentle snoring sounded beside him. ‘I am happy,’ he growled to himself. ‘It’s just…’ Flickering his eyes closed, his shoulders relaxed. Her face appeared before him – the redhead smiling back at him.

With a huff, he shuffled himself up to sit. Reaching out for his laptop, he plonked it on his lap, sliding his glasses up his nose. As he tapped the keys, he flickered a glance over to the girl sleeping beside him and dimmed the brightness of his screen. He opened his email. Empty. He opened another tab and another and another. On each, he opened a different social media site and typed in the same name: Jane Barrie. The redhead from his dreams appeared. Her smiling face. Her sparkling blue eyes. The left corner of his mouth prodded into his cheek. His heart panged. A sharp sting twinged into the corner of his eyes. He sniffed. Murmuring sounded beside him. Inhaling a sharp sniff, his eyes widened, as he turned towards his girlfriend. He snapped the laptop shut and leapt off the bed.

Hopping up and down, he stuffed his legs into his trousers and hauled them up. With a grunt, he swiped his hoodie, layered with two t-shirts inside it and shoved it over his head. As he tugged at the ribbing of his hoodie with his right hand, he swiped his keys from his bedside table with his left and stuffed them in his pocket. Grabbing his phone and laptop, he swept out of the room, without looking back.

The door, to his study, creaked open. He seeped a breath, as he snuck inside, closing the door behind himself. He flicked on the light switch. Dropping into his chair, his heart gave a hammering thud. He clattered his laptop and phone onto his desk and began rummaging around in his desk’s bottom drawer. Papers rustled. Pens clattered. His chest trembled. ‘It has to still be here,’ he told himself. A bottle lid. An empty wrapper. A used tissue. His fingers stroked against a book cover’s feathered, leather edging. A calming exhale washed over him. He flopped back in his chair and brought the russet coloured notebook near. His thumb fanned the pages. A page paused open. A rectangular piece of card protruded from the centre. He pulled it out, dropping the notebook back into the drawer.

Leaning back in his chair, he gazed down at the glossy photograph in his hand. On the right, he gazed back at himself. His hair shorter. His face cleanshaven. A smile stretched on his face. Beside him was the redhead he had dreamt of, Jane. She rested her head on his shoulder, smiling. He stroked his thumb across the photo, a warm rush of memories washed over him. Her beaming smile. The warmth that embraced him whenever he was in her presence. Her glowing sparkle that followed her wherever she went. Their fingers intertwined. Long walks in the woods. Her hugging his arm. Picnics in his favourite park. The sun beaming on them as they lay in the grass. Her adorable giggle. A weight lifted from his shoulder blades that he had not realised had been weighing him down. The heavy pressure that fuzzed his head, drifted away. A warmth spread from his heart, stretching down his limbs, entangling him with a tingling glow.

His heart dropped to his stomach. The memories vanished. A shudder washed over him. His head shot towards the door. A lump lodged in his throat. The photograph fluttered to the floor. Pressing his thumb into the ‘Home’ button on his phone, he unlocked it and stared at his background. An image of himself smiled back at him, but with the brunette, that lay asleep in his bed, smiled alongside him. The thumping in his chest froze. He held his breath.

His vision hazed. His thumb pressed buttons. A dial tone rang. Beeb-beeb. Beeb-beeb. Beeb. It cut short. A murmured, “Hello?” sounded. His stomach spiralled.

“Jane!” he breathed.

“Peter?” she mumbled. “Peter Pan… is that you?”

“Sorry,” he muttered, clawing a hand through his hair, as he turned to look out of his office window. “Did I wake you?” he asked, looking out onto the deep, slate-grey and foggy-plum clouds that drifted across the midnight sky, towards the waning moon.

“No, it’s fine,” came Jane’s reply.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

“Of course we can,” she told him.

“Can I drive over?” requested Peter. “It doesn’t feel right over the phone.”

“Okay,” was Jane’s shaky reply. “When?” He heard her swallow. “Now?”

“Is that okay?” he asked, as his brow furrowed.

“Erm… okay,” she replied.

“Great,” beamed Peter. “Give me ten minutes. I’ll be right there.” Slipping his phone into his pocket, Peter leapt to his feet and raced to the door.

 

*

 

Her heart raced in her ribcage. Clawing her nails into the cuffs of her pyjama top, she scraped the sweat from her palms. Sat upright in bed, she crossed her legs, staring down at her mobile phone in front of her. ‘What just happened?’ she asked herself, as she exhaled a shaky breath. ‘Peter… I haven’t heard from him since-’ A shudder crept up her spine, shuddering her out of her thoughts. Shaking her head, a nervous laugh escaped her. ‘I know, I dreamt it,’ she sighed to herself. ‘I haven’t heard from Peter in over a year. Why would he call me?’ Her insides swirled around in a circumbendibus. Holding a hand to her stomach, she reached out for her phone. After pushing a few buttons, she opened up her call history. Her heart froze. She stared at the screen. Call History: Peter Pan. Duration: 38 seconds. “Buh-but,” she breathed.

Closing her eyes, she sniffed, as memories of Peter flooded to the front of her mind. His warm smile. The green flecks in his soft, brown eyes. A warm spiral of butterflies in her stomach, as he took her hand to lead her on another adventure. Pressure lifting from her head, whenever he was near. The safety and comfort of his hugs. The bubbling spark, she felt, as she looked forward to their future. Her chest tightening. The inner corner of her eyes stinging, as a salty prickle filtered into them. Gripping her cuffs tight, as he let her down again. Shallow breathing. Her heart aching. He didn’t have time for her. The tugging and tugging of her heart, as she waited and waited and waited for him, only for Peter to forget her. He didn’t seem to care. Sliding down the wall, she collapsed to the floor, crying. For hours, she lay awake at night. Too scared to sleep. Hurting too much to try. Peter in the arms of someone else. Anger. Burning rage. Peter crying. Apologising over and over. Holding him tight. Feeling his warmth. The love in his kisses. The cycle repeating. Her heart breaking. His cold eyes. His last words, “I don’t feel anything for you, Jane.”

Balling her hands into fists, a shaky breath escaped her. Every emotion: happiness, excitement, love, warmth, safety, comfort, worry, longing, hurt, confusion, loneliness, anger, upset, fear, forgiveness, adoration, devotion, disappointment, betrayal and hopelessness spiralled around in her mind, each fighting for her upmost attention.

“Not now,” she growled aloud. ‘I’m in a good place,’ she told herself, with a sigh. ‘I actually feel okay being just me.’ Stretching an arm out, she stroked a thumb against the plush of her bear. The soft texture caused a tingle to dance up her spine. She pulled it near. Her brow puckered, as a smile prodded into her cheek. Memories, of Peter winning Jane the bear at a fête, fluttered butterflies in her intestines. Her heart sank to her stomach. ‘What if he needs me?’ she worried, bolting up right. ‘Peter doesn’t need me,’ she scolded herself, scrunching her nose at her silly thoughts. ‘He’s with someone else. He told me to leave him alone forever… and forever’s an awfully long time.’ Jane’s shoulders sank. She stroked a thumb across her bear. Her eyes widened. She straightened her back. ‘I won’t let him bring me down,’ she decided with a firm nod. Closing her eyes, she inhaled a slow, deep breath. ‘I need to show him I’m strong and I don’t need him,’ she told herself, pressing her shoulders back and her chest out as she dropped her bear down on the bed. As her eyes lingered on her bear, she grabbed it back and squeezed it tight. “That doesn’t mean I don’t miss you, Peter,” she whispered.

Slipping her feet into a pair of shoes, she looped the keyring of her housekeys on her finger and grabbed her phone. Her heart beat faster and faster, as she peered through the curtain. Headlights flickered. Her stomach spiralled. She gripped a hand to her chest, as her heart skipped a beat. Vibration buzzed in her hand. A text message from Peter illuminated her phone. ‘I’m outside,’ it read.

Jane’s stomach churned as she crept down the stairs. Stopping at the mirror, in the hallway, she ruffled a hand through her fringe. Her heart gave a twinge. Jane pinched her lips in and darted her eyes to the floor. Taking in a shaky breath, she rattled her keys in the front door. She froze. Closed her eyes. ‘I can do this,’ she told herself with a nod.

 

*

 

The passenger door to Peter’s car swung open. His stomach fluttered. Pressing his chest forward, he straightened his posture. The redhead, he had pictured many times that night, dropped into the seat beside him, tugging the door closed. “Hey,” Peter beamed, as his eyebrows bounced up. Her sparkle radiated, as she lowered her head and dropped her hands to her lap.

“Hey,” muttered Jane. She forced the right corner of her mouth into her cheek and flickered a glance in Peter’s direction, before returning her attention to her shoes.

“You look well,” Peter told her, forcing a swallow at the lump that formed in his throat.

“Thanks,” muttered Jane, adding, “You too,” as she flickered another, brief, glance towards him.

“Your hair’s grown long,” Peter exclaimed with a chuckle, admiring the copper locks that curled out at Jane’s waist.

“Yeah,” she murmured, as she dug her nails into the cuffs of her pyjama top.

Peter’s tongue scraped against the roof of his mouth. His intestines swirled. The thumping in his chest grew louder. Faster. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel, staring ahead at the empty street. Sweat clammed his palms. He flickered his eyes towards Jane and back to the road. Trembling bounced in his left knee. He inhaled a shaky breath. “Jane,” his voice cracked as his breathing quavered. “I’ve been seeing someone,” he told her, as his forehead furrowed. His chest tightened.

“I know,” muttered Jane, lowering her head to her chest. Her bottom lip quivered.

“What?” gasped Peter. “How?” he raged, snarling his nose.

“Fox and Curly,” Jane replied with a shrug.

Inhaling a shaky breath, Jane closed her eyes. The inner corners stung. She pinched her lips in. Blowing out a calming breath, she fluttered her eyes open, flickering her vision to Peter’s knees. “Her name’s Iridessa,” she heard Peter say. “She works in the print room, at work.”

“I know,” Jane whispered, wrapping her arms around her stomach.

“She’s amazing,” Peter breathed. Jane lowered her head, twisting herself away from him, as her throat tightened. “She’s beautiful and so smart. She makes me laugh, but best of all, she’s so helpful. She’ll go out of her way to talk to anyone. All of our visitors and travelling journalists rave about her talents, when she serves them in the lobby. She’s amazing,” he gushed. “She’ll talk to anyone, and everyone loves her. She hasn’t got a negative thought for anyone.”

“She sounds perfect,” Jane managed to say, as she struggled against the lump in her throat.

“She is,” she heard Peter go on, as she inhaled another shaky breath. “We’ve been living together several months now.”

“That must be nice,” squeaked Jane, with a smile, as her eyes sparkled. She clawed her nails into her sides, as she tightened her grip around her waist.

“I dunno,” Peter muttered. “I just… I dunno.” A deflating sigh escaped him. “Maybe I’m just being selfish,” he murmured.

“Selfish?” repeated Jane, as her brows slanted. Loosening her grip around her waist, Jane twisted herself around to face him. She fluttered her vision towards him, lingering on his sunken shoulders, tilted head and glum expression for the first time.

“I thought that’s what I wanted… to be with someone like her,” Peter went on, as he stared ahead at the empty road. “She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met… but it’s suffocating. I can’t take it.”

Jane noticed Peter’s grip on the steering wheel tighten. His veins rose to the surface of his hands. He growled a sigh, thumping his fists to his lap. Jane’s eyes widened. “You need to talk to her,” she told him.

“I can’t,” sighed Peter. “Just seeing her gets me so frustrated.” He balled his hands into fists. “I’ve tried,” he exclaimed. Closing his eyes, Peter let out a sigh and loosened the tightened grip on his hands. His shoulders drooped. “She just doesn’t seem to be able to spend time by herself,” he complained. “I just-“ he froze. Arching his head towards Jane, a sigh escaped him. The left corner of his mouth prodded up. His eyebrows shot up. “Seeing you’s made me feel a lot better,” he confessed with a soft smile.

Jane’s heart panged. Her stomach erupted with butterflies. Staring at Peter, her lips parted. A warm glow stretched from her chest. Her right hand hesitated towards him. A twinge pulled at her heart. Her eyes sparkled. Swiping her hand back, she twisted away from him. She lowered her head. Her eyes stared out of the passenger window. Her chest pounded. Seeping in a shaky breath, she told him, “Go home, Peter.” Silence. She swallowed the lump in her throat. Closing her eyes, Jane took in a couple of long, slow breaths and relaxed her grip around her waist, before twisting her head towards Peter, fixing her eyes on his lap. “Tell Iridessa how you feel,” she said in a soft, calm voice. “Maybe the two of you can work things out,” she added, with a smile, as she looked up at him.

“We can’t. I can’t,” grumbled Peter. “I just get frustrated with her. I don’t feel anything for her anymore.”

“Then you need to talk to her,” Jane explained. “Maybe ask her to move out for a bit. Give her a few days, or a week to move her stuff out. Give yourself a few weeks to yourself to think things through.” Lowering her sight to her lap, Jane shuffled herself around to face him. The drumming in her chest raced. Sweat clung to her palms. “Maybe after a few weeks apart, you’ll work everything out,” Jane suggested with a shrug, as she flickered a glance back at Peter. His snarled expression made Jane force a swallow, as he glared at his shoes. “She must mean a lot to you, for you to ask her to move in,” Jane whispered, resting a hand on his forearm. “Regardless of what you decide, you know how to find me, if you need me,” she added, taking her hand away, as he turned his head towards her. “Or if you want a friend or just someone to talk to.” Placing her hands in her lap, Jane’s heart gave another twinge. “Promise you’ll call, or text, if you need me?” she asked fluttering her sight to his.

“Promise,” replied Peter, as he locked eyes with her.

Peter’s slanted eyebrows and sunken mouth, softened as he gazed back at Jane. A warm smile poked into his cheeks. Jane shuddered. A warm tingling sensation danced up her back, as she smiled back at him. “Come here,” Peter sang, as he held his arms out towards her. Jane let out a breath, she had not realised she had been holding and beamed back at him. Leaning towards Peter, she rested her cheek on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. His warmth engulfed her, as he hugged his arms to her back. His familiar scent flowed up her nose, as she inhaled a soft, slow breath. A stretching smile tingled her cheeks. Stinging seeped into the corners of her eyes. Her chest trembled. Her throat tightened. An involuntary squeak escaped her, as she squeezed Peter tighter. “You okay?” he asked, stroking a thumb on her back.

“Yeah,” she squeaked. He hummed against her.

“I missed your cuddles,” Peter told her with a chuckle.

“I missed yours too,” sniffed Jane, as she leant out of their embrace. Sniffing, she rubbed the backs of her thumbs beneath her eyes.

Jane’s vision blurred, as she beamed back at Peter’s warm glow and smiling face. “I love you, Jane,” he blurted out. “I still do. I always did. I never stopped,” he confessed. Jane’s lips parted. Her eyes darted to her lap.

“You’re just saying that because you’re hurting,” she told him, as her throat tightened.

“I’m not,” insisted Peter, with a raised brow. Jane’s shoulders drooped, as she sighed.

“I love you too, Peter,” she told him with a pout, slanted brows and wide sparkling eyes. “But I don’t want you to say or do something you’ll later regret.” Her breaths grew shallow. Her heart raced. “You haven’t been drinking, have you?”

“No,” he told her with a chuckle. “This is all me, Jane.”

“Look,” she sighed. “You’re obviously not in a clear headspace, right now.” Forcing a swallow, a stern stare formed on Jane’s face, as she dropped her sight to a chocolatey smudge on Peter’s jeans. “Talk to Iridessa.”

“I don’t want her,” Peter sighed. “I want you.”

“You say that now, Peter, but I don’t want you changing your mind or regretting your decision,” Jane warned him. “I love you and care about you too much to lose you again.” Her vision blurred, as she gazed into his eyes. “Or to have you hurt me again,” she continued, dropping her eyes to her lap, as her voice quivered. “Please, go home,” she managed with a squeak.

“Okay,” muttered Peter, with a nod. “Sorry Jane, I didn’t mean to-”

“Don’t be sorry, silly,” Jane told him with a soft smile, as she shook her head. “I’m glad you came to me when you needed me.”

“Thanks,” smirked Peter.

With a slow deep inhale, Jane fluttered her eyes closed. Exhaling, she nodded to herself, before turning to Peter and flickering her eyes open. “Go home and get some sleep,” she told him, with a firm nod. “Talk to Iridessa. Take some time for yourself,” she said with another nod. “And don’t keep yourself busy every second of the day, so that you can’t think about your feelings,” Jane added, rolling her eyes. “The whole point of this is to help you think about them.” Peter’s smile drained. He lowered his head from Jane and stared out his window. “You have to want what’s best for you,” her voice softened, as she leant towards him. “Not what your family or your friends want for you, or Wendy. All that matters is what you want, in here,” she said as she poked his heart. “So longs as you’re truly happy… then I’ll be happy for you, whatever you decide you want.” Jane sniffed. Relaxing her shoulders, she inhaled another slow breath. “Be it me, Iridessa or someone else.”

Arching his head back to Jane, Peter’s shoulders drooped, as he lowered his head to his chest. His heart sunk to his stomach. He dropped his eyes to the gearstick, between them. “You need to think about things, Peter,” he heard her say. His stomach churned. Stiffness tightened at his shoulder blades.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled with a shrug, as he stared at the numbers engraved in the gearstick.

“Please, Peter,” murmured Jane. “You have to try. Do it for me?” she asked, with a puckered brow. Looking up at Jane, a lump lodged in Peter’s throat. His forehead creased. He turned towards her, pulling Jane into a tight embrace.

As Jane leant against him, she felt his chest tremble. Hugging her left hand to his back, she slid her right hand through his hair. He sniffed and murmured against her. “It’s okay,” Jane breathed, stroking her thumb against his ear.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice quivering.

“It’s okay,” she repeated, squeezing him tight. “It’s okay.” Resting her chin on his shoulder, Jane inhaled and exhaled several, long, slow breaths, to which Peter followed.

Tingling stung the inner corners of Jane’s eyes, as they leant out of their embrace. She flickered her eyes to Peter’s. As he gazed back at hers, the green flecks in his eyes caused her stomach to swirl. A smile poked into the corner of her mouth. Peter beamed back. His lips parted. Jane’s heart fluttered. Her eyelids lowered. He neared her. His breath brushed against her skin. Snapping her eyes shut, Jane twisted away from Peter, holding her hands up to her chest. “Please, go home, Peter,” she told him with a shaky breath, as she squinted open her eyes. “Please,” she whispered, after releasing a soft exhale. Placing a hand on his shoulder, she leant towards Peter and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. Lowering his head, Peter nodded. He sniffed, gazing back at her sparkling eyes. “See you soon, yeah?” she squeaked, wiping the back of her hand across her blotchy face.

“Yeah,” Peter breathed with a nod. Jane pinched her lips in, as she nodded back at him. Grabbing her phone and keys in her left hand, she tugged on the car door’s release handle and prodded the door open. “Jane,” Peter called out, placing a hand on hers. Jane’s heart skipped a beat, as she spun her head around to see him. “Thanks,” he smirked. Smiling back at him, Jane nodded. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Peter,” Jane whispered, as she held his gaze.

“I’d best let you get some sleep,” Peter chuckled. A nervous laugh escaped Jane, as she nodded. Stepping back, she pushed the door closed to Peter’s car. Her heart danced in her ribcage. Her stomach erupted with butterflies. A smile beamed into her cheeks and she waved, as the headlights to Peter’s car flickered on, the engine rumbled and he drove away.

 

- Josie -