Colleagues in My New Office

Following on from my previous post, regarding starting my new job (please see ‘Becoming a Warehouse Production Administrator’: https://josiesayz.blogspot.com/2024/11/becoming-warehouse-production.html if you are interested) I have a few things that I want to share/rant about. I am beginning to get the feeling that no matter where I work, I am going to struggle to concentrate, because of the people around me. I am starting to wonder if all men are infuriatingly annoying. If this is the case, I have decided that I am no longer bisexual, but simply gay.
          In my previous administration job, there were a few male colleagues, all who did things that really annoyed me. None of the female colleagues did any of these annoying traits. Now, that I am in a new administration role, the annoying males all have similar, if not worse, traits.
          The first one is something that I find very peculiar. The company director seems to like to use sticky keys. Who uses sticky keys?! I have just had to Google the usage of sticky keys, because I had no idea what their purpose was. Okay, so despite most members of staff being between 55 and 75 years old, I do not think that our director has dexterity issues. Part of me wonders if he just likes to make noise, because he has an office to himself (across the hall from me) and I think he just wants people to remember that he is till there.
          My immediate manager is a man who sighs rather heavily (like a man from my previous jobs),he clears his throat in a cantankerous manner (like a man from my previous jobs) and he cracks his fingers (like a man from my previous jobs). Okay, so, at the moment, the tally markings have not been in the 100 for each/one of those things, like in my previous job, but I would not put it past him.
          Then there is, quite possibly the worst human of all kind. My media lecturer, at university, told me that stereotypes of people, like this, do not exist, but I believe that this man that I sit at an ‘L’ shape to is where the stereotype of this type of grumpy, old man came from. He is like a grumpy, old, rude, 1970s British sitcom character that is from a series that I would likely have watched with an ex partner. There is something, or should I say, many things infuriatingly frustrating with this human, that my autism is struggling to cope. Luckily, he only works Tuesdays and Wednesdays, because he is in his late 60s/early 70s and partially retired. This man not only eats stinky food at his desk, speaks rudely to everyone (including phone  calls and when he said, “That is the nicest I have ever spoken to a woman on the phone,” that conversation would have got me sacked, had I spoke to someone the way that he did). but he, also, speaks his internal monolog none stop. This is a snippet of everything he did and said, from last week on Tuesday, from 7:30am until around 8:45am:

*Eats sausage sandwich at desk, as soon as he arrives.*
Oh, I didn’t know that, did you?
Was that what I did?
*Taps mug against the desk, repeatedly, for almost one minute.*
Okay, we’re there. Fine as a bird.
That’s strange, hmmm…
*Bangs mouse against desk, when he cannot see his cursor.*
I didn’t order that.
The?
*Persists to squeak his shoes together, noisily, for ten minutes.*
Why’s it gone and undone it all?
Yep.
*Grunts*
Okay, I didn’t then.
Good-good.
*Grumbles unaudiably.*
*Expletive.*
*Shouts a company name very loudly.*
Well done.
Oh, I might be able to do that
*30 minutes after eating a sausage sandwich, he eats a smelly packet of crisps, with his mouth open.*
Oh, good.
Can you? I can’t? Never mind.
Damn, blasted kids.
I don’t remember doing that.
Nope.
OH, dear me.
*After finishing crisps, he makes tongue lapping noises for 15 minutes.*
It takes
*Cantankerously clears his throat.*
Arh…
Done it again.
*Whistles for 10 seconds.*
Oh no…
Oh, for GOD SAKE – sorry!
Okay…
Where are yer?
Okay…
*Tuts to himself.”
‘Ere is.
That’s it.
Only way t’ do it, I suppose.
Can’t you do it from? I’m sure you could.
Right, let’s have a look at these.
*Huffs and puffs.*
Why is it like that? I don’t know. Why is it like that?
I used to do these like clockwork, now I can’t figure it out.
*Angrily:* Oh no!
Uh…
*Tuts* For God sake.
Hmm…
Oh, come on, insert.
No.
Oh, yes, you beauty!
That’s what yer shouolda done.
Argh, nah, done it again.
Uhh… I know.
Erm…
Dunno, I know, I know what I’ll do, undo it, yeah…
Okay, not that one.
*Clears throat several times, because he seems to like the noise it makes.*
*Laps his lips for over ten minutes in total.*
Yes.
*Squeaks his shoes, repeatedly, again.*
WHERE ARE YER? I can see it’s alright.
NO!
COME ON!
I don’t know why I couldn’t find it.
*Sings:*  There’s no one else.
*Eats a chocolate bar with his mouth open.*
Arh!
Done it again, en I?
*Squeaks his shoes again.*
Bloody hell.
Oh, yes.
Erm…
Ooow, I know what I’m gonna do.
What am I looking for? Do I know what I’m looking for?
They’ve got nothing t’ do, I’m sure.
*Inaudible muttering.*
Ooow, arrgh.
It takes circuits!
Cheers mate!
*Chuckles to himself.*
Good ol’ Linda.
A busy one again.
RIGHT! LET’S GO!
What time is it? It’s too late.
Oow, that’s good.

Most of those things were spoken within 10 – 60 seconds of each other. This man gives a running commentary of his day. He is stubborn and grumpy and old fashioned. Everything that he does is right, and everything that everyone else does is wrong. I really can’t wait for him to retire (I have no idea when that will be – I don’t even think that he knows).

That is all for my, little, office ramblings, for today. I will be certain to provide an update on the other odd, weird and mysterious things that might occur as I continue to explore and learn more about the siren company that I now work for.

- Josie -