"I don't know," does not mean, "No."

Dear whomever is reading this,

“I don’t know,” does not mean, “No.” When I say, “I don’t know,” it is literally because I have not made my mind up yet, and I could be swayed either way. For some, strange reason, I had a supervisor, at a previous job that seemed to think that anytime I said, “I don’t know,” that I was saying, “No.” I do not have a problem with saying, “I’m really sorry, but I have to say no, this time.” I literally just had to say this to a colleague this week. It gets me so angry when someone makes the decision for me, when they assume that I do not want to do something, simply because I say the phrase, “I don’t know.” In hindsight, part of me wonders if I had said, “I haven’t made my mind up yet,” whether she would still have taken my comment as a, “No.” I think it is very rude and disrespectful of a person to have the mindset that every single time someone says to them, “I don’t know,” that they always assume someone means, “No.” If you have not made your mind up about something yet, it means that you have not made your mind up yet. “I don’t know,” means that I could still be convinced to have my mind changed for either situation/scenario.

I am writing this, as I have thought, maybe the person who always took my, “I don’t know,” as a, “No,” did not realise that they were doing it. Maybe people do think that the phrase, “I don’t know,” means, “No,” in the same way that people, myself included, say, “I’m fine,” when I am not okay. Please, whoever might be reading this, note, and spread the word, that if someone says to you, “I don’t know,” it does not mean that they mean, “No,” and do not want to disappoint you, it could also mean that they have not made up their mind yet. Please, do not dictate someone else’s decision for them. Instead of replying, “Well, that means no, then,” please try to find out if the person needs help making a decision and offer a pros and cons debate on the multiple options. Please, try to be the nicer person, and not assume that the person you are asking means, “No.”

Thank you.
Kind regards,

- Josie -