Bumble

 Okay, so I did it. I reinstalled Bumble. I really hope that I can meet someone who doesn't make me feel more lonely that being alone. I want someone who can actually communicate with me, just for two minutes, instead of being able to talk to everyone else in the entire world, including strangers, but not be able to talk to the one connection that is supposed to be their priority. I am so scared that I am too old now. I am scared that I have wasted my life being with people who couldn't treat me with respect and made me anxious and cry, then said it was my fault. I just want to be happy with someone. I'm scared that this isn't possible. I'm scared that all relationships are mentally abusive, to some extent, and I am just not strong enough. I just want someone to cuddle, who loves me as much as I love them, who doesn't disappear and only contact me when they're bored, or when they want something. I'm so scared that I won't get to live with my partner, because that is all I have ever wanted. I'm so scared that it is all too late. I just want to be happy with someone. Maybe I'm too old. Maybe I really am just worthless - that's how people eventually treat me.