Butterscotch Home - Anthology

(Josie Sayz: This is my new poetry anthology, Butterscotch Home. It is only a small one. A series of five poems:
Out of Time
Waiting
Butterscotch Home
Dance
Swing.)

Out of Time

It was so long ago,
Since we last spoke,
Since you told me goodbye
And my heart you broke.
You said you needed time,
So, I promised to wait,
But now you’ve moved on.
I hope it isn’t too late.

You promised to message,
To phone me or write,
But when I reached out,
You lashed out in spite.
When I was alone
In a hospital bed,
Thoughts of you kept me going,
And saved me from death.

I thought you’d calm down,
And I’d cross your mind,
But now I find myself
Running out of time.
You never did learn
Of the life I lost that we made.
You tore up my letter
Or were you afraid?

As the date ticks near
And the pain gets worse,
I really do feel like
I’ve been given a curse.
In case I don’t make it
And for me it’s the end,
I wish to thank you for your time,
You were my always my best friend.

Waiting

I promised I’d wait for you.
You said you needed time,
To work on yourself,
But we were still fine.
We could still be friends.
A relationship was too much for you.
Three weeks went by,
Then you were with someone new.

I keep waiting,
For that promised call.
I keep waiting,
Do you remember me at all?
I keep waiting,
Hoping you’ll have a breakthrough.
I’ll keep waiting,
I’ll never forget you.

Three years have gone by,
Since we said goodbye.
I never forgot my promise,
No matter how hard I try.
Did our friendship mean nothing?
Have you had time to mend?
Four and half years must mean something,
Even if we can only be friends.

I keep waiting,
For that promised call.
I keep waiting,
Do you remember me at all?
I keep waiting,
Hoping you’ll have a breakthrough.
I’ll keep waiting,
I’ll never forget you.

I know you’re engaged
And I’m so happy for you.
I wish you both the world
And every happiness too.
But if you ever hit rock-bottom
And you ever lose your way,
My number hasn’t changed;
I’m just a phone call away.

I keep waiting,
For that promised call.
I keep waiting,
Do you remember me at all?
I keep waiting,
Hoping you’ll have a breakthrough.
I keep waiting.
I’ll be waiting.
I’m still waiting.

Butterscotch Home

Your eyes lit up,
Your smiling face,
You held me in
A tight embrace.
Childlike excitement.
Depression overthrown.
Now you had the keys
To your butterscotch home.

Your housemate, you and me.
You were as happy as can be.
You’re never alone,
In your butterscotch home.

Your housemate and I
Never could agree.
She’d twist things to hurt me,
But you’d never see.
You took her side
And said I had to leave.
Her manipulation and lies,
You’d always believe.

Just you and her,
Just as you were.
You’re never alone,
In your butterscotch home.

Then the time came
To find someone new.
She looked just like me,
But was your dream come true.
For her, you asked Shelley
To start a new life,
To leave you home
To you and your future wife.

Just you and your misses,
And lots of kisses.
You’re never alone,
In your butterscotch home.

Three years passed by,
Then your name lit up my phone.
Your heart was broken.
You were home alone.
You cried and confessed
You’d made a mistake.
You just wanted to be happy,
Were tired of being fake.

You asked me to come over and stay,
Overnight and into the next day.
You’re never alone,
In your butterscotch home.

You said you still loved me
And we made amends.
You wanted to go back to
Being more than just friends.
So I moved in,
I’ve never felt so free.
Just the two of us,
Living together happily.

It’s just you and me.
We’re as happy as can be.
You’re never alone,
In your butterscotch home.
No, you’re never alone.
You’re never alone.
You’re never alone,
In your butterscotch home.

Dance

You came to see me,
You were feeling glum.
You’d been feeling down,
Since your breakup begun.
I know a cure,
You need to take a chance.
Follow your heart,
Take my hand and dance.

We’ll dance until your chest aches,
Dance until your body quakes,
Forget about your heart breaks.
Just you and me,
We’re gonna shake, shake, shake.

You phoned me up
And I couldn’t believe,
Since we danced,
You can’t stop thinking of me.
You said, “It’s like I got-
Caught in a trance.”
You want me now,
So take my hand and dance.

We’ll dance until your chest aches,
Dance until your body quakes,
Forget about your heart breaks.
Just you and me,
We’re gonna shake, shake, shake.

We’ll dance until your chest aches,
Dance until your body quakes.
Don’t remember ‘bout your heart breaks,
Since you and me.
We’re gonna shake, shake, shake
All night.

Swing

Once upon a time
My life was full of anxiety,
But then you turned up on your white stead
And you rescued me.
Now you and I
We are as happy as can be.
I closed the door on my old life,
Because it’s history.

All I want to do is…
Swing, from the seat that you made in our tree.
Swing, because everything worked out perfectly.
Swing, my life is now a dream come true.
Swing, I’m so grateful that I found you.

We have our own house
And a dog and cat.
No one from my past
Could have ever imagined that.
They’re in a council house
With another man’s screaming baby,
Whilst we’re on holiday
And you propose, down on one knee.

All I want to do is…
Swing, from the seat that you made in our tree.
Swing, because everything worked out perfectly.
Swing, you made us afternoon tea.
Swing, you’re so grateful that you have me.

Not a day goes by
That I’m not thankful for you.
It brings me joy
Knowing that you are happy too.
Never thought it could happen
To someone like me.
The dark times are over
I’ve never been so happy.

All I want to do is…
Swing, from the seat that you made in our tree.
Swing, because everything worked out perfectly.
Swing, you made us afternoon tea.
Swing, you’re so grateful that you have me.
Swing, from the seat that you made in our tree.
Swing, because everything worked out perfectly.
Swing, my life is now a dream come true.
Swing, I’m so grateful that I found you.

 

- Josie -

The Curious Case of Kevin Curly

Before we begin, a little back story is necessary: I work for a company that manufactures blinds and cubicle tracks (that go around hospital beds and in doctors’ surgeries). Sometimes we communicate with the location that we are installing at direct, other times the location employs a contractor, who we deal with. Right, with that out of the way, now I can begin this rather odd little tale.

There are a lot of housing developments being built in and around my local area. We are doing several projects with a housing developer called ‘Bloor Homes’ and our contact there is a gentleman named Kevin Curly. When my manager first mentioned this contact’s name to us (there are six of us in our office) I found it funny, because her first comment was, “I wonder if he has curly hair.” I then told the office that my ex’s name is Kevin, and he has curly hair. My manager joked that he could have changed his name. We laughed about it and our accountant asked if my ex worked in construction. When we were together, he didn’t, however, there is a possibility that he might now. He used to work with my brother, however, about six months ago, my brother said Kevin left the company.

“Where does he work now?” asked our accountant. I don’t know! We have nothing to do with each other. We haven’t spoken in three years. I told them I have no idea. “There we go,” our accountant said, with excitement. “That proves it. It’s him.” We all laughed.

It was just a bit of fun. As if my ex-boyfriend had changed his name to Kevin Curly, left his management job at the local supermarket and decided to go for a career change, to work for a housing developer. I know it isn’t that farfetched. People change jobs all the time and change their name. In the past, Kevin’s relationship with his parents was a little rough, despite everything being fine between them before I was no longer a part of Kevin’s life, maybe something happened and he decided to change his surname to distance himself from them. I changed my surname when my parents split up and one of our installers changed his surname, due to past issues with his father. But to change it to Curly? He hates his long curly hair and always cuts it before it gets long enough to pull at. It just seemed a little too weird. Then again, I have had nothing to do with this person in three years. He could be a completely different person now and love having long curly hair and wants to embrace the nickname, “Kevin Curly.”

The conversation soon faded and was forgotten about, by both myself and the office. However, over the weekend, I had a clear up of my emails and contacts. I deleted all of my old emails and junk message that had built up and removed several contacts from my old workplace (I left over a year ago and have never received an email from any of them) but in the process came across a contact with the initials “KC.” There was no name, email address or contact number associated with the initials. The was no icon or logo, just a generic, coloured letter, given to the contact by the email provider that I use. I clicked on it, only to be told the details of the contact have been hidden, due to me being blocked. Why would someone I don’t know, with the initials KC decide to block me? Then I saw it, the last contact that I had with this contact: December 2019. It was him. My ex. But his initials are not KC. For privacy and respect for this person, I will not reveal his initials or surname (despite discovering that it is more common than I thought, as I have four customers with his surname). How is this possible? For a start, his email address is his first name and surname, so if he did change his surname, would he not just change his whole email address? Why keep your old one and just change the initials? Maybe it’s the ease and not wanting the hassle of moving all of their accounts over – that would seem like the person that I knew. When I changed my name, I changed my email address for every account that I had and I deleted the email address that contained my old name, because I hated what that name represented – and it was never me.

So what now? Technically nothing. I have no way of knowing is the Kevin that I once knew is now the Kevin Curly that we are dealing with on a project. Unless the man phones up, I will probably never know. I am not going to research into ‘Bloor Homes’, to see if they keep a photograph record of their employees on their website, like some companies do. Nor am I going to look my ex up and find out what he’s up to. I’m not interested in solving the puzzle. Yes, I’m curious and yes, it makes a funny story, especially if the Kevin Curly from ‘Bloor Homes’ is the Kevin that I once knew. I just felt the need to type up this silly, little tale, because it made me smile.

- Josie -

My Boyfriend's a Muggle

(Josie Sayz: I wrote this on 26^th January 2017, but for some reason never posted it. I’m by no means a Harry Potter fan or fanatic and I hate being referred to as the Harry Potter girl – which is probably why I didn’t post this piece. I read the books once, when I was at university and I have watched the films once. I love the idea of the universe, but was never that keen on the style of writing or the character of Harry. This piece was written when I was in a happy, loving relationship and made me chuckle when I came across it when I was archiving over the weekend. With the new Hogwarts game out (I have no idea what it’s called, but saw some pictures on Twitter) I figured now was a good time to post it. Oh and I’m a Ravenclaw and love to collect Ravenclaw things – like I said, I love the universe, the stories, movies and author, not so much.)

My boyfriend’s a muggle. Not just any old muggle – he’s as muggle as they get. Not only had he never heard of magic, when I met him, but even just the thought of spells was enough to give him the heebie-jeebies – sometimes it still does.

So, “How did this happen?” I hear you wonder. How can a witch befriend and fall in love with a muggle? I’m a half-blood. Magic mother, muggle father. Yes, as you can imagine, not long after the discovery that his daughter was a freak too, he and my mother separated. My brother’s also a wizard, but we don’t talk about him (if he wasn’t so gosh, darn lazy, he would probably be the next You-Know-Who, so I count my lucky starts that he’s an idle slob). Having settled near Kuttle Town, when she married my father, after the divorce, my mother decided to stay in the area. She even took up a muggle job – a librarian, at Wiverton Green village library.

Growing up, my mum made sure that my brother and I had the best of both worlds. We both attended Hogwarts for schooling and helped out in the library during school holidays. Once old enough, I got a summer job at the local muggle supermarket, and that’s how we met. Conscious of standing out in the muggle world, I kept my head down. Sure, I interacted with my colleagues, like everyone else, but I never felt like I belonged there. One day, a tall, dark handsome stranger came my way – okay, so I romanticise it a little. I can’t help it. I grew up in a muggle library! Kevin was a colleague, and tall, handsome, with dark curly hair and a cute pair of spectacles that suit him to a tee. He made me laugh and was always so kind. When everyone else saw me as part of the furniture, Kevin saw me for me. Not the goody-goody Ravenclaw that people from school knew me as, not the weird anti-social one that the rest of the staff has labelled me as, but me, the girl who loved stories and always came up with a creative way to help me get through the day.

“Ignore the gremlins out there,” Kevin had told me, as we worked in the warehouse. He was referring to our colleagues, on the shop floor. “When it gets too much, I like to come back here and get things organised. It’s like a cave of wonders,” he said, gesturing at the cages of groceries that surrounded us, from the recent delivery. I laughed at him. Finally, someone outside of the wizarding world, who liked to see things the way I did – full of fantasy and creativity. And that’s how it started.

It took me a while to feel as comfortable around him as he did around me, before I revealed my secret, and he took it rather well. Very well, in fact. It brought us closer. I didn’t have to hide a part of me anymore. Kevin knows I’m a witch. He loves me for me, magic and all. He’s heard tales of Hogwarts, the lessons, the charms, the spells. He doesn’t pester me to do magic, show him spells or ask me to use my powers to make his life easier, like cleaning the house. He knows that magic is a huge part of me, and he accepts me for me and that is all that it is. Okay, so maybe we have a little sprinkle of magic here and there, just to make things fun – like Kevin’s little toast train that bring him toast and a little pot of honey, for breakfast in bed, on the weekends. I never tire of seeing his face light up and a smile stretch across his face, as a mini steam train pulls up along side him, as he shakes the sleep from his eyes.

I may be a witch and my boyfriend, a muggle, but our lives are not that different from any other relationship. I go to work, just like he does. We come home, talk about our day over dinner – cooked the muggle way, always the muggle way. He never pesters me or asks about magic. Okay, on the occasion of course he is curious, but to him, that’s just a part of me. It’s just who I am. I don’t bug him to death with details on the lawsuits and wills and cases that his workplace receive. I don’t beg to know about law, finance and the criminal justice system of the muggle world. It’s his job, just as mine is mine: Secretary of The Department of Magical Law Enforcement. I guess you could argue that we are in a similar field of work, although it is not similar at all. Oh how I love our life. So similar, yet so different and yet being with Kevin makes me feel the happiest and safest I have ever felt in my entire life.

“If it makes you happy, then embrace it,” is what he often tells me, when I worry about my double life. My heart warms with a thousand butterflies. How lucky am I? I remind myself this everyday and tell him how grateful I am to have met him, and for the life that we share. I never take my powers for granted, nor do I take the muggle side of me for granted. I am lucky. I love my job and I love my life and I love my boyfriend, the best muggle a gal could ask for.

 

- Josie -