I
had a comment on my blog, a short while ago, that reminded me of someone that can
be incredibly frustrating. Why? Because they always take everything that I say negatively,
despite everything I say being positive. I am in a great place, mentally, with
a great group of supportive friends in my life. The problem with writing, text messages
and emails is that you only understand 7% of the writer’s intentions. The
remainder of someone’s intent belongs to their tone of voice, facial
expressions, hand gestures, body positioning etc. Everything written can be
interpreted multiple ways. If you are in a positive frame of mind, you tend to
interpret things in a positive way, like I try to. If you are always in a
defensive or negative mindset, you will always interpret text as such.
I wonder if this commenter is the person who I was thinking of, who always took
everything the wrong way. I am referring to my old supervisor, from the job
that I recently left, who always interpreted, “I don’t know,” as me meaning, “No.”
If this is you, I am not angry at you or hurt by your comment. Even if the
commenter is not her, I am still not angry or hurt by your comment. If you are
in need of someone to talk to, it is okay to reach out. I am here for you, or
anyone who needs a friend or just someone to talk to or to rant to. If it helps
you to feel better by taking your day out on me, then I am happy to be that
person for you, so that you can vent, let off some steam and not let it effect
your friendships and relationships.
And if you are reading this, please do try to remember, you only understand 7%
of text. Before you leave a rude comment, or send a text message or email someone
back using a manipulative, “Suit yourself,” or judgemental words, please take a
deep breath, before becoming a keyboard warrior. Inhale for four seconds,
through your nose. Hold your breath for seven seconds. Then press the tip of
your tongue to the fleshy part behind your two front teeth, and exhale through
your mouth, making a breathy sound through your tongue, for eight seconds. And
a inhale, through your nose, for four seconds. Hold your breath for seven
seconds. Then exhale through your mouth, for eight seconds. You can repeat that
4-7-8 breathing exercise for as long as you feel you need to. I find that it
always reduces by heart’s bpm, whenever I feel a little frustrated, with only a
few tries.
Now, re-read over what triggered you. Can you try to see it from a different perspective?
If you are struggling, sometimes, getting a friend to see their point-of-view
can be beneficial too. I used to work with someone who took everything that her
boyfriend text her, and even a lot of what he said, as negative. She was about
to breakup with him, because she felt like every conversation that they had, he
was trying to upstage her. Every time she had a rant, I helped her to see things
from the other perspective. I made her see that he was never trying to upstage
her, only sympathise with her. Ten years later, they are married, with children
and own their own home.
Please think before you respond to someone in a negative way. I try really hard
to go out of my way to help everyone that I meet and make people happy. It is
really important to me to spread happiness and positive thoughts to everyone that
you meet. You never know if someone is having a bad day and all it can take is
your comment to push that person over the edge, to make them do something dark and/or
dangerous. Could you live with yourself if you found out that your hurtful
comment caused someone to end their own life?
Please think before you respond to someone in a negative way. Try to find the
positive.
- Josie -
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