Why do I only attract mentally abusive people?

Why is wanting a connection always "too much"? Why is not wanting to be mentally abused, me sabotaging things? Communication is a fundamental human need. Being labelled as sabotaging is a manipulation word used by abusers to be controlling. Why are these the only people that come into my life. Why can't I attract nice, kind people, who know how to communicate and don't make me feel mentaly unstable?