Sexism and Mental Health

There really is a huge difference between how men and women are perceived in society, when it comes to mental health. It gets me so angry. Why are we treated differently? If a man has a bad day, he must be overworked and so stressed, but if a woman has a bad day, she just can’t handle the pressure.

If a man announces that he gets overwhelmed by loud noises, be it violent arguments, neighbours having a huge, loud party or fireworks going off at New Year, he is given sympathy and told that he is brave for talking about this and letting people know. People respect the guts that it took to admit that he is struggling. If a woman speaks of the same thing, she is told to grow up, stop being so childish and to get her act together. People console the male, but say to the female that she makes them uncomfortable, because she’s acting like a baby.

If a man is suicidal, people sympathise with his struggles. They assume that he must have been going through a lot, and people wish they could have done more for him. If a woman is suicidal, people assume she is weak and pathetic and can’t cope with life. No one wants to be there for her, nor do they think they should help her, because she is being childish.

These are just my experiences, but it gets me so angry. I have known the same individual react to me and a male (who are both on the autism spectrum and suffer with depression) in two polar opposite ways. It isn’t fair. If I was a man, you would be by my side, helping and supporting me, but because I’m a woman, you told me to, “F*** off.”

 

I saw a therapist, back in March 2019, and he told me that he thinks a lot of me getting upset will go away (minus being overwhelmed by loud noises, from my Asperger’s) once I find someone who is willing to take a chance on me, and let me live with them, and it just be me and them. No family or friends living with us. No lodgers or housemates. He said, I should probably cut out, maybe not completely, but significantly limit my contact with my family for the first four to six months, and by then, I should notice a significant difference and almost all of the bad things are likely to go away. He said any other arrangement would hinder my mental health, not help it. He also said that it needed to happen sooner, rather than later, because my emotions don’t work the same as the average person’s and if I’m surrounded by too much negativity, my brain could forget how to produce the hormone that creates positivity and once it is gone, even medication can’t bring it back. This therapist said that my emotional instability is completely circumstantial and solely derives from my home life. He told me the only way to fix it. There’s just one problem. That was four years ago. I’m getting too old. Some days, I can’t feel positive emotions, no matter how hard I focus and set my mind to it. I still can feel them, but if I don’t find someone soon, who is willing to take a chance on me, it will be too late for me to even try at all. Then everyone will just say that I’m too weak and pathetic, because I’m female, but I was never given a chance to help myself.

- Josie -